How long do we REALLY need to be in therapy? Thoughts from both sides of the couch.

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An article in the April 22, 2012 New York Times entitled: “In Therapy Forever? Enough Already” did its job and caused me to reflect on my career, my personal journey, and the complexity of the therapeutic process.  I ended up evoking an audible “hmmmmm.”

Some of my therapist colleagues and I meditated on the clinical and ethical reasons for working with clients and wondered how we know when our clients can ‘graduate’ from therapy.  The article, written by New York psychotherapist Jonathan Alpert, is not anti-therapy.  It’s mostly a conversation-starter about why clients seek therapy and the reasons that they stay in it.  I strongly encourage you to read the article and come up with your own thoughts and opinions about it — as it is a very personal subject.

Therapy, in general, is very personal.  This is why I don’t think there is a black-and-white answer to the question of “when is enough, enough?”.  When are we ever finished evolving and changing as human beings?

I was motivated to reflect on my own personal philosophy about therapy as I read the article, both as a client of therapy myself and as a clinician.  As I work often with eating disorders (bulimia nervosa, anorexia nervosa, binge eating), I contemplated an additional factor of readiness for change in the therapeutic process.  I am blessed with encountering clients who are at every stage of the change process….for some, this means coming once or twice and then taking their own journey, perhaps, to decide how and when they are ready to commit to recovery.

Recovery in and of itself is fluid and ambiguous.  Some clients come for a while, take some time off, and then return when they feel they need some accountability, some support, some insight.  When I was struggling with my own eating disorder, I was in and out of therapy many times — “tasting” it a bit, smelling it, figuring out if it was what felt right at the time.  I had to do a lot of soul searching before I committed to therapy, and I credit my experience in therapy as my saving grace and the avenue I chose to get to my own recovery.  Since that time, I have gone back to therapy several times, as a way of checking in and tuning up any loose ends.  I believe that therapy will be an essential tool for my mental health for decades to come.  I also believe it helps me grow as a mental health professional, as I am able to know and understand the benefits of working with a therapist whom I wish to emulate myself.

What struck me about the article was the way the author looked at different therapeutic orientations and how (he felt) some are more effective than others.  For example, Mr. Alpert states: “there’s a difference between feeling good and changing your life; feeling accepted and validated by your therapist doesn’t push you to reach your goals.  It might even encourage you to stay mired in dysfunction.”  Herein lies the debate between supporting and enabling a client: how do we know when to encourage a client to try to spread their wings and fly, and how do we know if it would be harmful (ethically, therapeutically) to do so?  This caused me to consider three of the foundations of therapy: unconditional positive regard, empathy, and non-judgment.

Are these enough and sufficient to help clients create the change they wish to see in their lives?  Or do clients need something more?

I believe that the answers depend on each unique client and the therapist with whom they commit to working with.  Not every client and therapist are going to be a perfect fit at the perfect time.  This is why it is important for clients to get to know a therapist, see if they connect, decide if the therapeutic relationship will be strong enough to create a framework for healing and change.  I feel that when the relationship is based on trust, safety and honesty, change can happen.  What is said or not said can be secondary.

I am still reflecting on the complexity of therapy and the players that it involves.  Client needs and goals are the focus of the process, but these can be met in so many different ways.  Just as every human is different, there is no one “perfect” or “right” way to engage in therapy…and that’s the beauty of it!

When things feel out of control: Utilizing Acceptance and Commitment Therapy to sit with uncomfortable feelings

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When something feels out of your control, what do you do?  How do you respond?  Do you avoid or deny?  Do you get angry?  Do you feel helpless or hopeless?  Do you turn many of these feelings inward on yourself?  I have worked with many people on managing unpleasant or painful experiences and today I got to delve into this very thing myself when I encountered a situation that was out of my control.  I then had to decide how I was going to cope with it, and let me tell you — my first response wasn’t pretty.  I learned so much about myself during this process; I learned that I have a tendency to internalize, self-blame, and worry.  All of those things getting stuck inside of me doesn’t feel great.

BUT, the experience also gave me an opportunity to practice some skills I have learned using Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT).  I recently attended a workshop presented by two colleagues Brenda Bomgarder, MA, NCC (whose has a counseling and coaching practice, Creating Your Beyond) and Christine Allison, MA, LPC (www.ChristineAllisonTherapy.com) who are trained in ACT principles and therapeutic methods and who help both professionals and clients in following ACT’s message on coping with emotions.

ACT’s core message embodies “accepting what is out of your personal control (such as emotions, feelings) while committing to action that will improve your quality of life”.  What did I learn during this training?  Using mindfulness as a guide, three of the basic ACT concepts include:

1) defusion: distancing from, and letting go of, unhelpful thoughts, beliefs and memories
2) acceptance: making room for painful feelings, urges and sensations, and allowing them to come and go without a struggle
3) contact with the present moment: engaging fully with your here-and-now experience, with an attitude of openness and curiosity (taken from The Happiness Trap by Dr. Russ Harris).

Applying these techniques to the way that we manage emotions allows us to “deal with painful feelings and thoughts effectively” while “helping us to clarify what is truly important and meaningful to us  – ie our values – then use that knowledge to guide, inspire and motivate us to change our lives for the better.”

So, because I am a human and swim in the same sea of emotions as every other person, I practiced what it would be like to sit with the worry and distress without pushing it away.  I realized as soon as I tried it that the practice of acceptance and open awareness was much less exhausting than trying to avoid or contain feelings that I believed were “not okay”.  It’s okay to worry and to really feel it.  But I needed to check in and ask myself: what does the worry accomplish?  I noted that the worry about this situation kept me away from the bigger thing that I really valued in the grand scheme of things — spending time with a loved one.  By accepting the worry and anxiety, it didn’t have such a hold over me and by letting it sit, I was able to move forward and focus on valuable experiences that create a full and happy life.

I am reflective on how ACT can be helpful to those who are struggling with eating disorders, anxiety, depression, or loss.  In working to accept and sit with painful or unhelpful thoughts or feelings, my clients have noticed that they do not feel the need to “cope” in a destructive way — i.e. cutting, disordered eating, purging — and that it is easier to allow the feelings to be felt.  By diffusing thoughts that seem unhelpful and by distancing themselves from identifying strongly with these thoughts, clients feel more empowered to make choices that create a life they desire.

Find out more about Acceptance and Commitment Therapy at the Association for Contextual Behavioral Science  or The Happiness Trap.  You may be surprised how stuck we get in the struggle — and how easy it is to move forward from that place!

Here’s a great metaphor for ACT:

 

Who Are All The Parts of You? Inviting Aspects of Ourselves to Sit for a Peace Talk

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Have you ever woken up on a given day and felt that you were being pulled in several different directions?  Perhaps a part of you wanted to stay in bed; but another part of you was eager to accomplish the tasks you had set out for the day.  A third part of you felt upset about a conflict with a loved one the day before.  As human beings, we are complex and complicated animals and we have many things that motivate us: fear, joy, pain, anxiety.  How do we decide what to listen to?

If you could sit down at a table with all of the unique parts of yourself, what do you think would ensue?  Would there be conflict, arguing, anger, avoidance?  Would there be efforts to connect, heal, soothe, and find understanding?  Who would be at the table?

With the web of experiences that create the beings we are today, it can feel overwhelming to try to comprehend how the aspects of ourselves interact on a daily basis.  That we are made up of so many parts is a beautiful aspect of the human condition.  Sometimes, however, these parts of ourselves — perhaps a child that is hidden within and her adult counterpart — come in conflict with one another or are pitted up against each other in a way that can cause destructive behaviors in an effort to cope with this discord.

Eating disorders, such as bulimia, anorexia, and binge eating disorder, along with other issues that create destructive behavior patterns such as substance abuse, addictions, and severe depression and anxiety may be indicators of internal conflict.  Some of us might feel like there is a “dark” part of us, or a “bad” part of us that needs to be hidden from the world and which can elicit feelings like shame and guilt.  Denying or avoiding an aspect of ourselves might only intensify the self-destruction that the feelings may cause.

I invite you to try to get to know all parts of yourself, those that feel scary and dark as well as those that bring light and energy.  In truth, these parts of ourselves are trying to communicate something to us and by embracing them all — even the dark and scary ones — we can free ourselves from unhealthy coping mechanisms.

Here are a few ideas to get you started on exploring the parts of yourself:

1.)  Imagine you are at a play date with yourself when you were  a child.  What sorts of activities are you engaging in?  What do you notice about yourself as a child?  Do you play with others, or mostly with yourself?  How does that child connect with who you are now?

2.)  If you were to write a chapter book about your life, what would you name each of the chapters?  Would they be about experiences you’ve had, or things you’ve learned?  What do you notice about the way(s) you portray yourself in this book?

3.)  Draw a round table with chairs all around it.  Invite parts of yourself to come to the table for a peace talk.  Who is invited?  Is it the timid daughter who avoids conflict?  Is it the strong willed man who stops at nothing to achieve success?  Is it the little girl who blows bubbles and runs freely in the park?  What about the dark shadow who looms behind, above, sometimes within you?  What would it be like for all of these parts of yourself to have a conversation?

If you did have a peace talk, what would be the outcome?

I invite you to imagine what it would feel like to have a truce between the aspects of yourself that sometimes create conflict — the little girl being able to shake hands with the dark shadow, who, when brought into the light isn’t so scary anymore.

On Saturday, May 5th from 11:00am-3:00pm, Kate Daigle, MA, NCC, eating disorder and body image psychotherapist and Carolyn Jennings, poet and writing guide, will spend the afternoon guiding workshop participants to get to know the various parts of themselves through writing exercises, dialoguing, embodiment, and discussion.  We will see what really happens when we sit down and hold court with all of the parts of ourselves.  To register for this low-cost workshop please visit www.eatingdisorderfoundation.org.

The Power of Support Groups in Eating Disorder Recovery

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Just as “it takes a village to raise a child”, community support is vital to recovery from an eating disorder as well as other mental disorders.  From 2010-2012, I facilitated an open and free support group at the Eating Disorder Foundation for those who are struggling with eating disorders such as bulimia, anorexia, binge eating, or any type of disordered eating behaviors.  Each and every week, I was honored and overwhelmed by the amount of support, strength, and wisdom that the participants in the group shared with one another.  The experience very much made me wish I had taken advantage of support groups in my own recovery more than I did.

What do support groups have to offer to recovery from an eating disorder?

  • Community:  “you are not alone”.  I think that those four words can be some of the most impacting for those in recovery.  Eating disorders thrive in isolation and shame, making those who suffer from them feel different, alone, and scared.  Support groups can provide a supportive community where others “get it” and can share words of wisdom that has helped them with their own recovery.
  • Consistency:  open support groups, such as those sponsored by ANAD at the Eating Disorder Foundation, typically run every week, all throughout the year.  No matter where you are on your journey towards recovery, you can depend on the support group to be there for you (unless special circumstances cancel the group for that week).  Support groups and the members and facilitators are dependable, trustworthy, recovery-focused, and open to listen and support you.  These factors are some of the most essential in eating disorder recovery.
  • You decide what you bring, and what you take:  there are very minimal expectations in support groups.  Typically, you are encouraged to share something about yourself, but the degree and the content are up to you.  You can be an active participant.  You can be a quiet observer who occasionally interjects.  You also can take from it what you want to:  perhaps the most helpful thing about the group that night was the fact that it took you away from your behaviors for a couple of hours.  Perhaps you bonded with a member and were very much inspired by her perspective on her own recovery.  Your recovery is YOURS, it is unique, and you can decide its course.
  • Growth and bonding:  If you commit to going to a support group consistently, you are very likely to witness growth and change in other members as well as in yourself.  As members go to therapy, to the support group, and engage in other recovery-focused activities, they will share their paths with one another.  Relationships that form in support groups are strong and often can be long-lasting.  As before, remember that community and support are some of the most important factors in a sustained eating disorder recovery.  When you witness another member take steps on her path to recovery, you are inspired and motivated that you can embrace your very own recovery as well.

Support groups, whether they are focused on helping members recover from eating disorders, alcohol addictions, drug addictions, or any other type of disorder, are special tools on our life journeys.  I learned so much from the members of the group, and continue to process their words of hope, wisdom and dedication towards recovery.  One of the fondest memories I have is the ability of members to use humor in eating disorder recovery.  Who would have thought that laughing about these afflictions could bring so much relief as well as a different perspective?  As I embark on my newest venture of co-facilitating the mens’ support group on Thursdays, I am eager to again take part of the healing power of a community.

The Eating Disorder Foundation is growing.  It is offering many new support groups, most of which are rare to find anywhere else.  Check out their website for a list of groups and their Spring Class Schedule (registration ends on Friday!!): www.eatingdisorderfoundation.org.

Groups (all FREE!) offered include:

For people struggling
Tuesday
6:30-8:00pm
Movement Room
For friends & family
1st and 3rd Thursday
5:30-7:00pm
Large Meeting Room
Women 35+
Tuesday
6:00-7:30pm
Large Meeting Room
Binge Eating Disorder
Thursday
5:30-7:00pm
Library
Men’s
Thursday
5:30-7:00pm
Movement Room

Empower yourself. Empower others.  Take advantage of the amazing offerings that support eating disorder recovery!

Breaking through the gender stereotype: new resources to help men with eating disorders

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While eating disorders such as bulimia, anorexia, and binge eating disorder have historically been thought to be “women’s disorders”, over one million men are suffering from these afflictions in relative silence.  My guess is that many more men and boys are struggling every day with an eating disorder than the numbers report.  With stereotypes looming about women feeling pressure to live up to societal beauty standards and using food to cope with stress, trauma, and anxiety, men who experience the very same struggles may be left isolated, feeling shameful and confused.  With the increased numbers of eating disorders around the United States, one positive aspect is illuminated: more education, advocacy, and support is beginning to become available for men struggling with eating disorders.

Beginning March 29th, a new and open support group is starting at the Eating Disorder Foundation.  Running every Thursday from 5:30-7pm, this group is sponsored by the National Association for Anorexia Nervosa and Related Disorders (ANAD) and is FREE and open to men who are struggling with any type of disordered eating or body image struggles.  Facilitators Kate Daigle, MA, NCC and Clinton Nunnally, MA, LPC, are hopeful that this new group will open doors for men to find support in recovery from eating disorders.

What is different about eating disorders in men and women?  Not a whole lot.  In a clip I found produced in Britain to shed light on National Eating Disorders Awareness Week, one of the men talks about how criteria for anorexia nervosa includes amenorrhea (the loss of a female’s monthly cycle) and that he sees this as a gender bias against men who may be dealing with the same disorder.  You can view the clip here:


According to the online eating disorder recovery site Something Fishy,

“The most common element surrounding ALL Eating Disorders, including Eating Disorders in Males, is the inherent presence of a low self esteem”.

Men are dealt with pressure to live up to standards, ideals, and stereotypes, just as women are.  The image of the strong, muscular male underwear model or the skinny, fashionable hipster affect the way that men perceive themselves.  They may be influenced by “what women want” in a mate and conform themselves to fit the desired ideal.  In addition, men are supposed to be “the strong, stoic, protector” — one who doesn’t show or admit to emotions — based on Western standards, and this can create a great deal of pressure to fit all expected roles.  Men, just as women, can control food in order to try to cope with feelings, or can feel out of control with food as a way of expressing underlying struggles.

We still have a ways to go to understanding how we can best support men in their recovery from eating disorders.  I think the first step is admonishing the shame that is often attached to eating disorders.  Shame is released by expressing it, addressing it, and letting it go.  Here are additional resources for men struggling with eating disorders and for their families and loved ones:

Males and Eating Disorders: Research

Eating Disorders in Straight and Gay Men

Men With Eating Disorders Often Overlooked (a Talk of the Nation special audio report)

Men Get Eating Disorders Too (a non-profit to raise awareness about EDs in men)

I am hopeful that with these resources and with research to come, that men will not feel so alone or shameful about struggling with an eating disorder and that they might break the silence and search for treatment.  If you know of any males who might benefit from the free support group please contact Kate Daigle at (720) 340-1443 or the Eating Disorder Foundation.

So…I’m in recovery from my eating disorder; what do I do now?: Strategies to fully embrace life after ED

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I am often asked: “What is recovery?  How do I know when I am recovered from my eating disorder?”.  With these perplexing concepts, there is no single correct answer.  Recovery from anorexia, bulimia, binge eating disorder, or any other type of disordered eating is individualized and unique for each person.  This special journey is what makes recovery from eating disorders both challenging and rewarding: during recovery, we each learn tools and embellish our strengths that will guide us to a life of balance and wellness for many years to come.  We also may slip and stumble a few times during this journey. But staying the course is the key to sustained recovery.

Today, I’d like to shed some light on what to do once you have come to realize that you are “recovered” or “in recovery” from an eating disorder.  Again, this is my perception — my feelings about my own recovery.  They may help others, they may not.  Take what helps.  I am safe in assuming that the majority of those in recovery will agree that eliminating destructive and self-harming behaviors is a central key to recovery (behaviors such as bingeing, purging, restricting, over-exercising, cutting, and others).  While it is normal to have occasional slip-ups of behaviors while working to find security in recovery, the true definition of recovery must involve a cessation of behaviors. Behaviors such as those listed above are symptoms of a deeper psychological issue.  When working to find peace and wellness from behaviors, the root of the issue must be defined and nourished.  When this is done, or is “in the process” of being uncovered, harmful behaviors will naturally cease because they will not be needed as a coping mechanism any longer.

One of my favorite quotes I heard recently by Cheri Huber reminded me of the complexity of recovery:

“Having an attachment ripped from deep in our being does not feel kind.  Yet when it is gone, when the wound is healing, we can see that the process was one of pure compassion.”  ~Cheri Huber

Eating disorders are like an attachment.  They are like a relationship.  They will never abandon us, deny us, leave us, or disagree with us.  We can always rely on them.  This is why it is so challenging to let them go — for all of the pain they have caused us, they have also satiated an inherently untended need.  I interpreted this quote to mean that when we have our eating disorder taken away from us — whether it was of our own initiative or not — there is pain.  The beginning stages of recovery are often the most excruciating; it can feel like ripping off a band-aid and exposing an open wound.  Sometimes, it is too painful to bear, and we feel we need to continue using our behaviors until we are stronger in coping.  When we sit with the feelings under the eating disorder, when we begin to heal, we can notice that giving ourselves compassion is one of the biggest keys in maintaining a solid recovery.

Here are a few ideas that might help in continuing to deepen your commitment to recovery:

1.) Define what the underlying struggles are, and always keep those in your awareness.  This may come in the form of anxiety, depression, relationship difficulties or remnants from a traumatic event.  You do not need to focus your awareness on these directly all the time, but tuck them into your consciousness so that you can be notified when you might need to cope with them in a healthier way.

2.) Remember what you have achieved.  Again, this needs to be in balance — don’t re-traumatize yourself by vividly placing yourself back into what it was like to be in the eating disorder, but reflect on the steps you have taken, the victories you have obtained, and the strength you have deepened within yourself.  Sometimes when I am feeling down, I summon up my gratitude for my own recovery and that I got myself there.

3.)  Connect with community.  It is always therapeutic to be part of a community that understands and supports you through your recovery.  Recovery can be a life-long process in stages, and you may have different needs as you take steps down the road.  This can come in the form of joining writing or poetry groups, if it is healing for you to write about your recovery.  You also might participate in volunteer activities with local eating disorder support centers.  In Denver, the Eating Disorder Foundation offers many volunteer opportunities or classes you can take and expand your horizons in their new support center “A Place of Our Own”.

This is only the beginning of a list of ideas to maintain recovery.  What are some of your ideas?  Remember always that the journey is challenging at times, but there is hope for a full, sustained, and healthy recovery from anorexia, bulimia, or binge eating disorder.

Understanding Disorders Comorbid with Eating Disorders: Insight into Our Complex Psychology

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Today, nearing the end of Eating Disorders Awareness Week, I am pleased to offer a guest post from Lauren Bailey, a freelance writer who has an interest in eating disorders and psychological complexes:

Understanding Disorders Comorbid with Eating Disorders

Eating disorders and those who suffer from them have always had misleading and misunderstood coverage in the media. The public image of anorexia is often simplistic and reductive—we have an idea of most people with anorexia as teen girls with self-esteem and body issues who have developed their disorder in response to media glorification of extreme thinness. While this is certainly part of the issue that exacerbates eating disorders, there’s so much variety to the disorder that ascribing one culprit as the source is downright disingenuous.

Although there are many people who suffer from an eating disorder alone, it’s very common for a sufferer to have additional psychological disorders as well. In fact, almost all psychological disorders have the potential for what is called “comorbidity”—having two or more disorders at the same time. Advancement in the study of comorbidity has helped many suffering from various disorders to receive equal, across-the-board treatment when in the past, one disorder was treated and, still, the sufferer suffered.

In terms of eating disorders, the most typically comorbid disorders are anxiety, depression, bipolar disorder and obsessive compulsive disorder. Just as with eating disorders, many of these other disorders do not have a single source or cause. More often than not, genetics plays a large role. While many who suffer from depression or anxiety develop the disorder in response to a specific set of traumas, there’s really no telling why you or a loved one may suffer from a string of separate disorders that can affect your entire life.

With obsessive compulsive disorder, those who suffer from a comorbid eating disorder will be very particular about their eating behaviors. Many will ritualize eating to an extreme extent. According to an OCD Chicago article:

“…anorexic individuals are much more likely to have a predisposition to acquiring anorexia nervosa from pre-existing OCD and in fact, almost 37% of anorexic patients have OCD.  According to Yaryura-Tobias the cerebral functioning and the primitive brain which contains the basal ganglia, is in particular, related to motor compulsive behaviors…The true manifestation behind the compulsive ritualistic behaviors, tendencies and excessive thought processes are a result of a combination of higher cortical decision making melding with the primitive brain’s compulsive motor movements.”

Although OCD and eating disorders are the most closely related, other disorders mentioned above can impede full treatment for the patient suffering from comorbid ED. PsychCentral cites a study which found that about 14% of people with bipolar disorder have a co-existing eating disorder. And a study published on the National Institutes of l Health website notes that many eating disorder patients have reported a variety of childhood anxiety symptoms before the onset of bulimia or anorexia as young adults.

In the final analysis, the growing body of research on disorders comorbid with EDs demonstrates the importance of anyone suffering from ED to be fully assessed by a trained professional. If there are other unusual or bothersome symptoms or behaviors exhibited in conjunction with eating behaviors, it’s essential to bring up with your doctor the possibility of a disorder hiding underneath the ED to get the full treatment you or a loved one deserves.

By-line:

This guest post is contributed by Lauren Bailey, who regularly writes for accredited online colleges. She welcomes your comments at her email Id: blauren99 @gmail.com.

 

National Eating Disorders Awareness Week is upon us! How can YOU raise awareness in your area?

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I’m so excited that the 2012 National Eating Disorders Awareness week is almost here!!  Beginning February 26th and running until March 3rd, this week is all about raising awareness and education about eating disorders.  There are events happening all over the country — so raise your voice and help us eliminate these devastating disorders!

Here are a few things to check out in the Denver area:

Tuesday, February 28th from 6:30-8:30pm

Giving Voice to Hunger – An Evening in Two Parts

Part 1: Join poets Karen Douglass and Carolyn Jennings for an evening “meal,” a reading to explore many of our appetites, in recognition of both the physical need in our community and National Eating Disorder Awareness Week, two facets of hunger in our world.

Please bring a favorite poem about food, hunger or body image/eating disorders by anyone of your choosing to read at open mic. Please bring a non-perishable food donation for Food Bank of the Rockies.

Refreshments will, of course, be served.

“There is no happiness like mine.

I have been eating poetry.”

~Mark Strand, “Eating Poetry”

Part 2: Please join Mirror Image Arts for a preview of our original play “Breaking the Silence“, a series of vignettes that showcase the various faces of eating disorders. We will be performing two vignettes and will be available for a discussion, along with a licensed therapist, Kate Broyles Daigle, to help process the intense emotions surrounding eating disorders and disordered eating. Eating disorders thrive in silence. Breaking that silence and facing the issues is the best way to fight back.

Bios:

For over twenty years, Carolyn Jennings (www.WritingOurWings.com) has used her journal as a primary tool for recovery from an eating disorder and in creating a thriving life. This experience inspired her to write the award-winning Hunger Speaks: a memoir told in poetry and to become a Journal to the Self® certified instructor. She now guides others to uncover awareness, wholeness, freedom and abundance through their pens.

Karen Douglass writes poems, novels, a blog, and grocery lists. She lives in Colorado with three dogs, one cat, and her family. You can visit her at www.kvdbooks.com or you can come to Broomfield. Her books include Red Goddess Poems; Bones in the Chimney (fiction); Green Rider, Thinking Horse (non-fiction); Sostenuto, (prose poems) and The Great Hunger (poems), which is available from Plain View Press (2009). A new poetry chapbook, Two-Gun Lil, is scheduled for independent publication this year.

Mirror Image Arts is a non profit educational theatre company that uses their original play “Breaking the Silence” to raise awareness, inspire change and spark conversation about the emotional topics of eating disorders and body image. “Breaking the Silence”, written by a woman recovering from anorexia and bulimia, is a series of vignettes showcasing the various faces of both eating disorders and disordered eating. Mirror Image brings “Breaking the Silence” to area schools, churches and community centers free of charge. After the show the actors of Mirror Image, together with a licensed therapist, lead an in depth discussion with the audience. Mirror Image aims to break the silence surrounding these all to common issues. For more information contact Erin Jorgenson at e.jorgenson@mirrorimagearts.org or visit our website at www.mirrorimagearts.org.

 

Thursday, March 1st, 6pm

Eating Disorder Foundation’s Fifth Annual Candlelight Vigil

We invite you to join us for our fifth annual Candlelight Vigil during National Eating Disorders Awareness Week (February 26 – March 3, 2012). Take this opportunity to visit A Place of Our Own and join us as we remember those who have passed away and to honor those still on the path of recovery.

Mingling and hors d’oeuvres begin at 6:30pm with the candlelight ceremony to follow at 7:00pm.

Light a candle and say a prayer with us as we come together on this night to join in the spirit of remembering and healing.

 

A Place Of Our Own — the Eating Disorder Foundation’s new support center

The Eating Disorder Foundation’s new support center, A Place of Our Own® is open and ready to welcome you for a broad range of classes and support groups designed to enhance eating disorder recovery or for informal drop-in visits for those wishing to talk, find time to be alone or meet people on the recovery journey.

A Place of Our Own is located at 1901 E. 20th Ave Denver 80205.  For more information, visit www.eatingdisorderfoundation.org;  this is a unique center with ongoing events – so keep checking back to see what’s going on!

 

Other events around the country!

To find out more information about Eating Disorders Awareness Week and to learn what you can do to support, visit the National Eating Disorders Awareness Week website.  I also came across a helpful post for those looking to learn more about eating disorders and how to help those suffering from an eating disorder heal.  You can read it at When Food Is Family blog.

 

Eating disorders thrive in silence.  Let’s break that silence!  If you know of any other events or ideas to lend support to this cause, please feel free to leave a comment here.  We are powerful individually, we are a unstoppable as a group!

There’s a new word in the dictionary: the advent of “thinspo” and its menacing grip on young girls’ self worth

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There’s a new word in the {Tumblr} dictionary: thinspo (n.): short for “thin-spirational”, photos of wafer-thin girls, pro-anorexia quotes.  The culture devoted to thinspo is primarily found on Tumblr but also is awash in blogs and sites all over the internet.  Those who are active in it use acronyms across the top of their webpages, like a banner to describe their work: CW (current weight), SW (starting weight), UGW (ultimate goal weight).  Carolyn Gregoire of the Huffington Post recently wrote an article THE HUNGER BLOGS: A Secret World of Teenage ‘Thinspiration’ wherein she uncovers “this codependent sisterhood of bloggers uses Tumblr for one sole purpose: to lose extreme and unhealthy amounts of weight.”

Throughout my work with eating disorders and during my own struggle, I have encountered “pro-ana” (pro-anorexia) and “pro-mia” (pro-bulimia) sites which give “advice” and “tips” on how to have the best eating disorder possible.  These sites are incredibly toxic for the influence they can have on young girls and boys who may not know anything about eating disorders before coming upon them.  Harriet Brown, author of Brave Girl Eating: A Family’s Struggle with Anorexia wrote a blog post piggy-backing onto Ms. Gregoire’s post, during which she acknowledges that “thinspo” and other pro-ED sites are technically allowed because of the First Amendment’s liberty of self-expression, but “thinspo is not self-expression because it’s not these young women’s true selves that invite emaciation and worship at the altar of jutting hipbones. The longing for extreme thinness, for the self-annhilation of starvation, is not rational. It’s not a choice. It’s the expression of an underlying terror and compulsion that controls a person’s thoughts, feelings, and behaviors.”  In other words, the eating disorder is writing the words for these young women.

Ms. Brown’s post, entitled “A Mother’s Plea to Shut the Hunger Blogs”, is written from the heart — from someone who knows  what it’s like to have a daughter affected by the messages from these sites.  She writes: “If my older daughter had never developed anorexia, I might be more sympathetic to the notion that thinspo is a genuine form of self-expression.”  One of the dangers of thinspo is that the words and intent can come from a vulnerable place of wanting to express something.  Eating disorders develop for some kind of reason, they help to cope with something, and behind the dangerous messages of thinspo lie millions of hurt, scared, and sick young women who underneath it all just want to be loved for who they are.  They just don’t know how to express that and are afraid to be rejected.

This may be why Ms. Brown says that she has empathy for these young women “even as their words nauseate me”: the real issue isn’t the development of these sites but the underlying cultural acceptance of the drive to be thin.  And to do almost ANYTHING to get there — thinness is more valued in our culture than intelligence, curiosity, creativity or JOY.  Now that is pretty twisted.

Yahoo says it has dismantled over one hundred thinspo sites due to “violation of the site’s terms of use”; this is a start, but the sites will keep on coming.  We can take all of the sites off the internet, and this will be a great step in the direction of decreasing “pro-ED” education.  However, the real issue is the way that thinness, fitness (yes, there’s another new word: ‘fit-spo’, short for ‘fit-spirational’, showing photos of fit girls and inspirational fitness quotes), and competitive drive are placed in the spotlight as qualities that lead to happiness and success.  Yes, they may lead to a healthy lifestyle, but if these messages are heard by ears that are consumed by our culture and are already pre-disposed to eating disordered behaviors, they can lead to a full-blown eating disorder that takes their lives away from them.

As Ms. Brown cites: “In part because of our cultural obsession with thinness, we have trouble seeing anorexia and other eating disorders as illnesses. As real illnesses, the kind you can’t snap yourself out of. And that’s the main reason I would shut down every thinspo blog and Tumblr if I could: Because the girls and young women who so eagerly perpetuate them are ill. They’re not stupid or vain or misguided; they are profoundly, mortally sick.”

We are making ourselves sick.  We consume and purchase, trying to fit the standard that must be the way to find a lifetime of happiness.  The truth is that we will never find what we are looking for in that way; the only way we will find what we yearn for is to look within ourselves, listen to our voice, and take the steps to follow our own unique, authentic path back to ourselves.

On the advent on Eating Disorders Awareness Week, let’s hear your voice!

Loving Our Bodies, Loving Ourselves — a special Valentine’s wish from Kate Daigle Counseling

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I had the pleasure of writing an article for Natural Awakenings magazine this month.  It focused on the power of self-love and acceptance, and how when this is disrupted in some way, eating disorders and negative self-talk can occur.  The Annual National Eating Disorders Awareness Week is coming up at the end of February, and I thought that with the arrival of Valentine’s Day next week, it would be an apt time to write about love of ourselves.  I wanted to share the article with you here so that the message can be spread as far as possible:

 

Loving Ourselves, Loving Our Bodies 

When we feel stressed, depressed, or anxious, our bodies often bear the brunt of this emotional strain.  Our lives get busy and complicated and our mental and physical health needs can be neglected as we try to balance the demands of life.  We may forget that taking care of our bodies and our emotional selves is crucial to living an optimal and joyful life.  Eating disorders such as anorexia nervosa, bulimia, and binge eating disorder can develop when complex feelings are internalized and food becomes a tool to try to regain a sense of control in life.  These dangerous disorders can separate us from our body’s intuitive signals and they can develop into a vicious spiral of shame, guilt, and physical self-harm. 

Look inside of yourself.  What are you truly hungry for?  If we try to fill an emotional void with food, our hunger only grows in intensity; while food may seem to be a way to soothe uncomfortable feelings, control can easily get away from us if the hunger is caused not by physical sensations but by body image struggles, low self-esteem, or traumatic experiences.

What are the warning signs of an eating disorder?  Eating disorders develop out of a sense of feeling “not good enough” or that something is out of control in life.  If a loved one begins having mood swings, expressing dissatisfaction with their bodies despite having a healthy body, gaining or losing a significant amount of weight in a short period of time, avoiding eating with others, or if you notice large quantities of food missing, these may be a few of the signs that an eating disorder has developed.  If you have any concern that a loved one might be developing an eating disorder or if you have been struggling with one yourself, please contact a mental health professional with expertise in this area.

February is a month to show love and appreciation.  Shower yourself with the same acceptance and admiration that you might give to a partner or family member.  When we struggle with eating disorders and body image issues, we often see ourselves as different or separate than others.  I encourage you to take care of yourself in ways that soothe your soul and listen to your intuition; give your body what it desires, and allow your emotional self to feel its true feelings without judgment.  Once we can learn to accept ourselves for who we are, inside and out, we can deepen the connection between our bodies, our minds, and our spirits and live in harmony and peace.