Dwelling in the Disorder: How Presence Can Be the Best Present During the Holidays

This time of year, I love reading all of the articles and blogs written to help us try to remember what is truly important to us during the busy, bustling holiday season.  What are some of your favorites?  Share in the comments box at the end of this post!

As the holidays are upon us and we find ourselves getting caught up in the swirl of family gatherings, work potlucks, traffic, holiday music, gift buying, and so much more, I often find my anxiety ramping up too.  There seems to be so much “to do”, “to see”, “to prepare”,  “to buy”, “to organize”….etc, etc.  If you notice, all of those “to’s” are followed by verbs.

We are always moving, always feeling like we “should” be completing or focusing on the next thing that comes during the holiday season.  In years past, the calendar has arrived at January 1st and I

can’t fathom for the life of me how in the world we got there. Where did the time go?  I was not being mindful; I was letting the busyness of the season keep me disconnected from what really matters to me.

This year I am committed to adopting a different approach.  2014 was a year of ups and downs for me.  Professionally, I have seen my business thrive and achieve milestones such as publishing an e-book and doing more public speaking and supervision than in any previous year — activities that I love, that challenge me and that are fulfilling to me as well as to others.

Personally, I have had some great things happen, and I also have experienced more loss in this one year than I have in my entire life.  Going through the stages of grief and sadness has catapulted me to a place of self-awareness and depth that I had not experienced before.  I have overcome extremely challenging and life-changing experiences before, such as the recovery process of my eating disorder.  However, finding yourself at a place where you have absolutely no control over the experience was something I had never grappled with before.  Through the depths of my sadness, I have also been able to open myself up to the depths of gratitude that fills up my life as well.

I often use the metaphor of “the well” with my clients — if you can feel that deep sadness, you have the capacity in your well of emotional experience to feel the same depth of joy.  So hold on, persevere, and don’t give up hope.

Reflecting back on 2014, I am struck by three concepts that have highlighted my year:  resiliency, authenticity, vulnerability.

What is funny to me is that as I notice these concepts as cornerstones of my year, I also recognize that these are traits that many of my clients have embodied this year as well.  It is never lost on me how we all are connected and our processes can be parallel in ways that we may not know or recognize.

What are three concepts that highlight your 2014?

So, as I offer myself grace, as I offer my clients hope, as I offer my colleagues, friends and family love and warmth this holiday season, I pledge to adopt the stance of dwelling.  I dwell in the depth of gratitude I have for those who have let me walk with them on their journeys to healing.  I dwell in gratitude for those who have opened their arms when I needed someone to hold me.  I dwell in the light and possibility of continued healing and growth for us all in a vibrant 2015.

Wishing you and your loved ones a very peaceful holiday season and a 2015 bursting with new possibilities.

With love,

Kate

LenDog64 / Foter / CC BY-ND

2 Responses to “Dwelling in the Disorder: How Presence Can Be the Best Present During the Holidays”

  1. Very good blog! Do you have any hints for aspiring writers?
    I’m hoping to start my own site soon but I’m a
    little lost on everything. Would you advise starting with a free platform like WordPress or go for a paid option? There
    are so many choices out there that I’m completely confused ..
    Any recommendations? Cheers!

    • Hi there! Thank you for reading my blog and for responding! I recommend WordPress as a good platform. I am not an expert on that, though, so I would recommend asking someone who is more in that field. I say, just start blogging about topics you are passionate about! That’s what I did and it helps your website get noticed. Good luck!