Mar

26

By Kate Daigle

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Categories: acceptance, awareness, balance, body acceptance, body image, body language, body love, connection, eating disorder recovery, embodiment, emotions, gratitude, inner voice

Five Steps To Becoming More Embodied: How To Be At Home In Your Body

Many of the clients that I work with report feeling “disconnected from”, “at war with”, “disgusted by”, or “dissatisfied with” their bodies.  To me this says that there has been some form of trauma that has caused a rift in the natural mind-body connection.  This could mean an actual traumatic event in one’s life, or, more commonly, it could mean that some form of internal experience (feelings) has felt too painful or too disregulated and we must disconnect from it.  Our bodies can be a battlefield for our emotions.  Castlewood Treatment Center defines one’s body image as:

‘Body image is comprised of how one sees their body, lives in and experiences their body and perceives how others see their body. Negative body image can serve a protective function to distract clients from painful feelings or emotions held in the body.’

To heal from this disconnect between mind, body and soul, we strive to become more “embodied”, to literally attach ourselves to our bodies once more, as we were when we were born.  To find a way to be accepting of our internal and experiences and thus more accepting of ourselves.

What does it mean to “be embodied”?  Being “embodied” signifies:

  • feeling at home in your body
  • feeling connected to your body in a safe manner
  • an increased ability to be in your body in the present moment and to feel all of its sensations (emotional and physical)
  • Safe and healthy expression of needs, desires, fears and wants through the body
  • an increased ability to self-soothe when feeling escalated or agitated
  • an ability to identify inner needs and tend to them appropriately
  • Connection to and acceptance of all parts of your body and of yourself
  • Connection to your sense of self; your soul
  • Ability to recognize and correct cognitive distortions related to your body

Here are a few ideas for beginning to implement these and be on your way to “becoming more embodied” in a safe, accepting, nonjudgmental, and joyous capacity.

1.) Bring your focus to the daily essential tasks that your body performs for you.  Have you ever noticed how many muscles, bones, and ligaments it takes to walk effectively?  It’s not just our legs and feet that need to be involved; our whole body is on the job as we walk down the street and keep us balanced. What about all of the steps it take to take a shower?  Have you ever slowed down and tuned into each step?  Your body does so much for you — much of it out of your consciousness — and you may not realize this.  By bringing attention and focus to the physical tasks it implements for you, you can begin to feel more present, grounded, and appreciative of your whole body and the miracle it is.

2.) Draw a body image timeline. What is the story of your body?  What would it say to you about its life if it could speak?  Begin with a large piece of drawing paper and some art materials.  Draw a line from your earliest memory of your body to the present.  Fill in each of the events that stand out to you (for example: ‘felt self-conscious in my bathing suit at the pool party, age 13′, or ‘gave birth to my first child, age 33′).  Use colors, shapes, words to describe the journey your body has been on until this point.  Add influential people to the timeline. This is not about weight, but about how it has felt to be in your body.  Then, draw a line from the present into the future: how do you want the story of your body to look from here on out?

3.) Pay attention to the messages you send to your body. These may come from both internal and external sources.  What kinds of statements do you send to your body?  That it’s not good enough? That it’s awesome and strong?  That it’s beautiful?  That ‘if only I could lose 5 more lbs, I’d be happy’?  Write these down in a notebook.  Then try to reframe the negative ones to thoughts that feel more accepting, validating, kind, and compassionate — the kinds of messages you would send to someone you love very much.  Offer kindness to what it’s been through — pains, injuries, surgeries, etc — and how resilient it is!

4.) Dance, dance, dance! We all can project feelings of awkwardness, uncertainty, or insecurity on our bodies.  Have you ever watched someone dance in a way with complete abandon, fearlessness, and joy?  Try it!  You can begin in your own home.  Turn on a song that you love, one that really gets into your soul, your joints, your body.  And let yourself dance to it with no rules and no self-consciousness.  Fling your arms around; gallop across the floor; jump in the air!  Do whatever your body wants to do — just follow it.  See how it feels!

5.) Spend a day tracking your emotions and your body signals.  We tend to hold our emotions in our bodies, and they can often show up as somatic concerns if we don’t address them.  Have you ever had a stress headache?  Or shoulder tension?  These could be the result of untreated emotional pain you are holding in your body.  When we take care of our bodies appropriately (and this means REST as well as movement!), then we send the message to our emotional selves that we deserve to be appropriately tended to as well.  Spend a day tracking the messages from your body and your emotions.  Draw a line down the middle of a piece of paper.  On one side, track any emotions you feel that day (sad, angry, lonely, surprised, etc).  On the other, track physical sensations you feel (headache, stomach queasy, muscle spasm in leg, tight hamstring, etc).  Just notice where these line up next to each other and if you see any connection.

These are only a few ideas to helping you become more embodied in your body, your soul, and your life.  This Saturday, March 29th, I’ll be facilitating a full-day workshop on this topic, using some of these techniques and so much more!  There are a few spots left, so contact me ASAP at 720-340-1443 to reserve yours!

Leave a comment below with ideas you have tried that have helped you feel more “at home” in your body.  What are the daily practices you use to facilitate this?  There are more great ideas as Embodiment Training as well.

This is the only body you’ll have.  Let’s see how we can celebrate our bodies and pamper them instead of judge and criticize them!

 

Feb

6

By Kate Daigle

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Categories: awareness, body acceptance, body image, body love, boundaries, eating disorder recovery, exercise compulsion

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What is ‘Fitspiration?': This is not fitness. This is an exercise in illness

Today I am pleased to offer a guest post by blogger Lizz Schumer, who has known the dangers and pitfalls of disordered eating and exercise, and now advocates for healthy recovery and body image.

Here, she shares her experience with ‘fitspiration’ and describes her journey to balanced, intuitive exercise that fit her body’s unique needs:

I called it the “tyranny of the numbers.” I couldn’t be content to run x number of miles, burn x number of calories or spend x amount of time. The three x’s had to line up, like pictures on a slot machine, for me to hop off the treadmill satisfied. Bingo.

In this way, my compulsive exercising brain held my body captive, tied to a treadmill until one would let the other stop. If I skipped a day, I hated myself, my body, the weakness that I thought resting implied. I counted calories like I counted steps, minutes: obsessively. This was not fitness. This was an exercise in illness.

A person only need spend five minutes on Facebook, Pinterest, Instagram or even Twitter, to notice the “Fitspiration” trend that’s taking over social media. Slogans like “unless you puke, faint or die, keep going” and “No matter how slow you go, you’re still lapping everyone on the couch,” slapped across photos of tight bodies in tighter clothes flash across the screen in the name of fitness. But what are they really saying?

After years of fighting it, I’ve learned to listen to my body telling me what it needs. My body isn’t a machine and it isn’t a tool. It’s a part of me, and a part that I love and respect. If it’s fainting or puking, there’s something wrong. That isn’t fitness; that’s illness.

And no matter how slow I go, my body still needs rest days. It needs the couch, sometimes. And yes, it often needs potato chips and chocolate, too. And if I don’t give it some off time, my body will break down. Or my mind will, because neither can exist at maximum capacity for long without falling to pieces, because neither were made that way. That isn’t fitness either. But I can tell you what it is.

It’s a culture trying to sell fitness by encouraging shame in our bodies. Fitspiration encourages pushing a person’s body to the limit and beyond, implying that any less is failure. It’s an all-or-nothing attitude that isn’t just discouraging; it’s dangerous. Women are already taught that we’re not good enough. We’re taught that our bodies are imperfect, our efforts are less valuable, our work is worth less. None of these are true, but all of them sell beauty products, self-help gear and yes, workout clothes. We have to look beyond the fitspiration messages and realize that slogans that subjugate aren’t selling us anything we should be buying. That we’re stronger, smarter, better than that.

True fitness, the kind that leaves a person feeling better and living healthier, has nothing to do with fainting and puking. It doesn’t require, or even usually result in, glistening muscles rippling beneath branded spandex. And most of all, real fitness makes a person feel better, not worse. Because my personal fitness level, no matter where it is, is nothing to be ashamed of.

These days, I don’t treat a treadmill like a slot machine, just like I don’t treat my body as a vessel that needs punishing. I put a book over the numbers, cue up my favorite podcast and exercise until a chapter break, the end of the broadcast or my body tells me to. No matter what the numbers say.

Bio: Lizz Schumer is a writer, reporter and photographer living and working near Buffalo, N.Y. The Lizz_headshot copyeditor of a local newspaper, her work has appeared in a variety of forums. Her first book, “Buffalo Steel” is available from Black Rose Writing. She can be found @eschumer, www.lizzschumer.com and www.facebook.com/authorlizzschumer.

 

Do you want to read more about ‘fitspiration’, its unhealthy messages, and related topics? You may find out more about why fitspiration really isn’t that inspirational here; or uncover some of the most damaging fitspiration messages here, and read a report about the dangerous effects of fitspiration on mental and physical health as discussed by psychologists here.

With the news of The Biggest Loser contestant who dropped more than 60% of her body weight over the course of the show and fell to an unhealthy weight, The National Eating Disorders Association asks: ‘Who Is the Biggest Loser? All of Us.” A timely topic that we all must confront.

What are your thoughts or reactions?  Please feel free to leave a comment below!

Jan

28

By Kate Daigle

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Categories: coping, depression, emotions, mindfulness, mood, myths, seasonal affective disorder, self care

Finding the Light in the Winter: Mindful Practices to Warm Your Spirit

Shorter Days.  Icy temperatures.  Slippery roads.  Snow.  Do you ever get the ‘wintertime blues’? Do you sometimes feel like you have less energy, are more prone to depressed moods, or struggle to motivate yourself to act?  I’ve been there!

While I love the beauty of the snow, the cozy feelings that the winter brings, and the hibernation of the earth, I do find myself getting antsy for the blooms and renewal of springtime.  I am also reminded that earth needs winter, just as it needs summer, and fall, and spring.  This deep sleep that it takes from December through March help replenish our water sources, nurture our plants’ natural cycles, and prepare for the re-birth of spring.

Psychologists use a term called “seasonal affective disorder” to help describe what some of us might feel during these long, dark, cold winter days.  SAD is a clinical term to describe a form of depression that most commonly occurs in the wintertime (but did you know that you can feel effects of SAD all year round?) and is much more than just feeling tired or having low energy.  SAD expert Norman E. Rosenthal states that it can affect up to 14 million people each year (or about 14% of American adults), as explained in his book  Winter Blues: Everything You Need to Know to Beat Seasonal Affective Disorder.  Common symptoms include:

  • Your functioning is significantly impaired. You have difficulty completing tasks that were easier before; you’re falling behind with bills and chores; you make mistakes more often or take longer to finish projects; you tend to withdraw from loved ones.
  • You feel considerably depressed. You feel sad more often than not; you feel guilty or hopeless about the future; you have negative thoughts about yourself that you don’t have at other times of the year.
  • Your physical functions are greatly disrupted. During the wintertime, you sleep more or have a hard time getting up in the morning; you’d rather stay in bed all day; your eating habits have changed.

Light therapy, cognitive-behavioral therapy, mindfulness-based cognitive therapy and some antidepressant medications have been proven to help alleviate some of these symptoms.  Mindfulness, or the act of experiencing the present moment in a non-judgmental way, is especially helpful in treating forms of depression.

No matter what time of year it is, each season brings its own variety of joy, celebration, and tradition.  If you’re finding yourself waiting for the first day of spring, try to allow yourself to be mindful of the gifts of the present — winter — because you might be missing it come mid-August!

Here are a few simple mindfulness practices to ground you in the present moment, receive its gifts, and focus on what’s meaningful to you right here, right now.

  • Get in your body.  Whether you are inside or outside, move your body in a purposeful, attention-focused way.  Walk up the stairs of your house and pay attention to each step and how it feels for your feet to set down on each stair.  Stretch your legs, your arms, your torso, your feet, your hands and all parts of your body — yoga can be a great way to mindfully experience your body and get some exercise too. If you’re stuck inside, turn your household chores into mindful activities!
  • Find the sun.  If you live in a climate where the sun shines in the winter, make sure to get at least 30 minutes of direct sunlight each day.  If the sun is scarce, you can get a light box and experience similar effects.  Sunlight is directly responsible for producing serotonin and melatonin, which can regulate mood and sleep.
  • Exercise: yoga and Pilates are especially helpful for paying attention to heart rate and breath, which ground you in your body in a mindful way.  When you are moving your body regularly, you can modify your stress response and consequently fight depression.
  • Eat foods that give you plenty of vitamin D.  Vitamin D is found in sunlight, which helps regulate mood and serotonin levels.  Foods such as tuna and salmon are rich in vitamin D and omega-3.  If you don’t want to eat these, take an omega-3 fatty acid supplement which can be found at your local natural foods store.
  • Eat for the season! What fresh foods are found in your region during the winter?  Cooking with these fresh, natural foods will help you feel like you’re fully experiencing and enjoying the season.
  • Connect with people and activities that you love.  Have you wanted to learn to knit?  Are you wanting to plan for your spring garden?  Do you love to make soups?  Do you love getting massages or acupuncture? Winter is a great time to indulge in cozy, nourishing self-care activities that you may have put off for months.
  • Here’s a great worksheet from mindfulhub.com that outlines many of the ideas mentioned here.

If you’re feeling a bit “sad” this winter, you’re not alone!  Try to remember what the winter has to offer — and the fun mythology tales that describe our history with the seasons.  Spring will come, the sun will shine again, and earth will flourish in greens, oranges, blues, purples, pinks, reds, and every color under the rainbow once more :)

If you’re looking for a little bit of support to cope with the wintertime blues, I offer complimentary consultations to see if we’d be a good fit to work together.  Please call me at 720-340-1443 today!

Jan

8

By Kate Daigle

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Categories: acceptance, adversity, bullying, self-acceptance, self-definition, self-esteem

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“I Choose to be Happy”: Living a Life Defining Yourself From the Inside

I came across this TED talk today featuring Lizzie Velasquez, a woman who has published three books and been a motivational speaker for eight years.  Lizzie is a young woman who is one of only three people in the world living with a syndrome and physical deformity so mysterious that doctors still do not understand what it is.  Upon seeing her, a first glance might evaluate her to be “unattractive” by conventional standards; she describes her syndrome as “her body not being able to gain weight” and that she has never weighed more than 62 lbs in her life.  She is visually impaired and can only see out of one eye. She does not meet conventional beauty standards.

However, spend one minute listening to her and you feel an immediate connection, warmth, and confidence.  Her humor is sometimes self-deprecating, but also truly self-affirming.

She speaks some of her struggles with being bullied as a child but she speaks more about her life-long solid belief that “I’m a fun kid and everyone is missing out”.  Lizzie credits her parents raising her no differently than any other child for her ability to see herself as a person with physical impairments, but nothing else abnormal about her at all.

As I was mesmerized by Lizzie’s charisma, I reflected to myself:  “why do we define people by their outside appearance before looking inside?”

Lizzie asks the audience several times: “what defines you?” “how do you define yourself?” How does that limit you?

Have you ever struggled to answer those questions?  When asking yourself: “how do I define myself?”, what are the words or terms that come to your mind first? Are they words that describe you physically?  emotionally? spiritually? intellectually? relationally?

Now ask yourself: when you meet someone for the first time, what are the ways that you initially find yourself describing them?

In Lizzie’s case, she has had experiences with many people in her life — children and adults — describe and judge her in a purely physical way.  She has even been labeled “the world’s ugliest woman”.

We are all familiar with this type of judgment.  We get messages from the media, from friends, from other men or women that certain physical appearances are more desirable or “beautiful” than others.

That kind of evaluation can cause pain.  Why does ‘different’ have to mean less-than?

Lizzie says “in this situation where I saw this said about me, I had two options.  I could choose happiness, or I could choose to give up.”  She chose happiness.

What if you chose to be happy…from the inside?  What if you decided who you were, how you defined yourself, and how you viewed others from looking inside and not just the outside?

Where have you faced adversity and instead of giving up, just worked even harder and bigger?

I encourage you to watch the video of this remarkable, brilliant, confident and funny young woman and take notice of any initial observations that come to you about her.  Then, after the video is over take notice again of observations you have of her.  What changed?

Nov

11

By Kate Daigle

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Categories: anorexia nervosa, awareness, body acceptance, body love, bulimia nervosa, eating disorder recovery, photography

How many of us must wait until something life-transforming happens before we really appreciate our bodies?

images-24 copyWhile immersing myself in texts, articles, conversations and daydreams to begin putting together a body image group coming in January 2014 (updates coming soon!!), I came across a beautiful and brilliant photo book by photographer Rosanne Olson entitled this is who I am.  Within the book’s covers, fifty-four women are photographed nude, each with stories to tell to prove that beauty comes in all shapes and sizes:

“The portraits, taken by award-winning photographer Rosanne Olson with a steady, non-judgmental eye, speak loudly to the American obsession of feminine perfection — slim hims and full breasts, high cheekbones and tiny waists, taut skin and eternal youth — and even more loudly to the way real women, with real bodies and real lives, look.”

I was struck by the pure humanness and depth in the eyes and bodies of all of the women represented in the book — women from all walks of life, ethnicities, ages, and with their own unique stories.

Utilizing this book with clients who are struggling with their own various body image issues has proven to be an eye-opening and introspective journey.  We have found a richness in exploring how what we see on the outside does not necessarily tell us the true or whole story.  When looking at a photo of a twenty-two year old slim, blonde woman, one might be compelled to focus on her body first and assume (by society’s standards) that she is happy, rich, popular, and perfect.  Reading her story, you learn that she has had part of her lung removed as part of complications of cystic fibrosis and that she lives with other complications every day.  Look in her eyes and you sense a wisdom, perhaps one that delves into her soul and makes her look older than she is.  You sense that she knows her story and its twists and turns.

What do learn or assume if we focus on how a body looks as an assessment tool for how happy, peaceful, confident, healthy, wealthy, etc etc etc a person is?  How true of a measuring tool is that? What are the consequences to this approach?

Ms. Olson posed intriguing questions to her subjects in her “goal of complete revelation — not hiding behind clothing but exposing both body and mind.  What would we learn about ourselves? Would we — could we — become more compassionate?  Not only towards ourselves but towards another?”  I invite you to peruse through the other questions she posed and see how you would answer them yourself:

  • What do you love about your body?
  • How long has it taken you to arrive at acceptance/love of your body?
  • What frustrates you or what would you like to change?
  • Has your body let you down (if you feel that it has) or have you let your body down?
  • How have you supported your body?
  • How have your feelings changed towards your body since you were younger?
  • In general, how do you feel women feel about their bodies?
  • How do you feel the media have affected how women feel about their bodies? (read an excerpt and see some of the stunning photos here)

She then asked each participant why they agreed to be photographed.  Some of the women struggle with eating or exercise problems.  Some have suffered from medical issues or illnesses that have affected the way their body functions, feels, and looks.  They all have had experiences in their lives which have forced them to become more aware of their bodies — whether in a joyful or painful way.

What story does your body hold?  If photographed, what messages about your internal state of being would your body send to those looking at the photo?  Is your internal state congruent with the energy you exude out of your body?

I have been journaling about my own journey with my body.  It has been through so much with me, and yet here it still stands, walks, talks, and dances, my ever dedicated soldier.  I am so grateful for my body, though my relationship with it can wind through sticky paths as well as bright ones.  In my own recovery, I have learned that I must take care of my body, and this is not negotiable.  My body is unique just to me, a gift.  I admire the women in these photos who allow themselves to be vulnerable, naked, and yet to connect to each other and to those who read their stories and see their photos in such a powerful way.

images-25 copyWe have so much to learn from the wisdom of our bodies. Why must we wait until something life-changing happens for us to tune into and adore them?

Stay tuned for my Body Image Acceptance Group coming in January 2014!  The group will be limited to few participants, so sign up quickly.  More info coming soon to my Events page.

 

 

Oct

30

By Kate Daigle

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Categories: acceptance and commitment therapy, autumn, change, eating disorder recovery, emotions, flexibility, gratitude, private practice

Change is difficult, exciting, invigorating: Kate Daigle Counseling Autumn NEWS!

New Home, New Growth at Kate Daigle Counseling!

1392745_611989082175829_2109834145_nI am SO excited about all the new happenings and growth at Kate Daigle Counseling! It’s been a very busy summer and autumn here…In September I was honored to be a presenter at the Association for Contextual Behavioral Sciences Regional Conference in Golden, CO, where I presented to my esteemed colleagues “Embracing Our Bodies, Allowing Our Experience: An Acceptance and Commitment Therapy Approach to Treating Disordered Eating and Body Image Issues”. This was a fun way to stretch my wings at being a presenter and also to learn a lot about myself while confronting some uncomfortable fears (public speaking!) in order to achieve the experience I truly hoped for. Read more about this on my blog.

I’ve begun to do some supervision for Master’s level students who are working toward licensure or continued professional development! Currently, I’m really enjoying working with clinicians/new professionals who are passionate about helping clients struggling with eating disorders and body image and looking to deepen their own understanding of these issues and competency to help treat them and grow as a professional. I’m always eager to enrich this work and my own growth as a supervisor and am currently accepting new supervises. Contact me for more information!

In the new year, I will welcome my first intern in my practice. She will help me build groups, workshops, and other offerings to the community. Stay tuned for more information about this!
The biggest change at Kate Daigle Counseling has been moving to join a collaborative community of health professionals at Awaken Healing Center. Joining acupuncturists, massage therapists, reiki practitioners, rolfing practitioners, energy medicine workers, and other mental health professionals, I’m so excited to bring my practice to a new level and be a part of such a welcoming, healing, and warm center. It’s located very centrally at 1574 York Street, Denver, and if you’re in the area, please stop by!! Stay tuned for news about my upcoming open house.

All of these inspiring and invigorating changes would not be possible without the support and care of my loved ones, professional network, clients, and colleagues. I am deeply grateful that you continue to help me learn, grow, and challenge myself so that I can be the most effective professional counselor that I can be.

Wishing you a peaceful and bright autumn, filled with love and light!
~Kate

Simple Tips for Mindfulness at Work

1. Choose to start your day rather than letting the day start you — begin each day by noticing the sensations of the breath for a few breaths before jumping out of bed.

2. Use transitions wisely — choose some days to drive to and from work without the radio or phone. When you arrive at your destination, allow yourself a few moments to sit in the car, noticing the breath.

3. Nourish yourself — mindfully eat your lunch attending to the colors, taste and smells of the food.

4. Just walk between meetings — no emails or texts — feeling the feet on the floor, the air on the skin and the possibility of greeting colleagues you pass rather than bumping into them while you text!
Get More tips here!

(adapted from: Simple, Daily Tips for Mindfulness at Work)

How To Face Your Fears and THRIVE!

I don’t see myself as a “typical” risk taker — I don’t think I’d ever like to climb on the side of a jutted cliff or swim with sharks (yikes!). But sometimes something gets into me that pushes me to take a giant step outside of my comfort zone and push myself to my very limits. I recently engaged in one of the biggest challenges I have ever come across in my career: PUBLIC SPEAKING.

I was very fortunate to be chosen in April to be a presenter for the Association for Contextual Behavioral Sciences Rocky Mountain Chapter’s Regional Conference held on September 20-21, 2013. This association brings together professionals who utilize Acceptance and Commitment Therapy and Relational Frame Theory with clients in many different capacities to help reduce suffering and facilitate healing. I put together a presentation entitled: Embracing Our Bodies, Allowing Our Experience: An Acceptance and Commitment Therapy Approach to Treating Body Image and Disordered Eating Issues. This topic is near to my heart and I am always excited to explore the ways that ACT is effective in helping clients from this population. (more...)

The Eating Disorder Foundation
A wonderful local resource and support center with many FREE support groups and workshops, The Eating Disorder Foundation is inspired to help eradicate eating disorders through support, education, and community. The EDF is uniquely positioned to help those who suffer from eating disorders and their families, to create an environment that fosters sustained recovery and to provide information that’s vital to prevention. The EDF provides high-quality, carefully focused educational and support services, and welcome your help and involvement as we continue and grow our activities, many of which take place in or originate at our new facility, A Place of Our Own ® . Check out their website for a full list of the more than 10 free weekly support groups, workshops and other activities!

A Place of Our Own is located at 1901 E. 20th Ave, Denver 80205. View Map.

Drop-In Hours:
Mon: Closed
Tue: 10am – 6pm
Wed: 12pm – 5pm
Thu: 10am – 6pm
Fri: 12pm – 5pm
Sat: 10am – 2pm
Sun: Closed

Kate Daigle, MA, LPC offers individual, couples and group therapy to those struggling with eating disorders, anxiety, depression, and other related issues. She is expecially interested in supporting men, women in pre- or post-partum, or multicultural populations who are striving for recovery from body image struggles.
CALL TODAY for a complimentary consultation! 720-340-1443

Oct

9

By Kate Daigle

3 Comments

Categories: acceptance, acceptance and commitment therapy, anxiety, awareness, compassion, connection, eating disorder recovery, exposure therapy, intuition

Facing Your Fears and Soaring: How Acceptance and Commitment Therapy Helped Me Confront My Demons and Thrive!

I don’t see myself as a “typical” risk taker — I don’t think I’d ever like to climb on the side of a jutted cliff or swim with sharks (yikes!).  But sometimes something gets into me that pushes me to take a giant step outside of my comfort zone and push myself to my very limits.  I recently engaged in one of the biggest challenges I have ever come across in my career: PUBLIC SPEAKING.

I was very fortunate to be chosen in April to be a presenter for the Association for Contextual Behavioral Sciences Rocky Mountain Chapter’s Regional Conference held on September 20-21, 2013.  This association brings together professionals who utilize Acceptance and Commitment Therapy and Relational Frame Theory with clients in many different capacities to help reduce suffering and facilitate healing.  I put together a presentation entitled: Embracing Our Bodies, Allowing Our Experience: An Acceptance and Commitment Therapy Approach to Treating Body Image and Disordered Eating Issues.  This topic is near to my heart and I am always excited to explore the ways that ACT is effective in helping clients from this population.

Values directionIn April, this sounded awesome!  As the days, weeks, and months crept by, I found myself engaging in several anxiety-related activities that let me know that I was feeling quite nervous about presenting in front of so many national and international peers who have a vested interest and skills in ACT.  Looking through the ACT lens, I was definitely utilizing experiential avoidance.  I procrastinated by doing ANYTHING but work on my presentation (including cleaning and organizing), I filled up my schedule with other activities so I ‘wouldn’t have time to work on the presentation’, and I began having anxiety dreams, one of which included me standing naked in front of all of the mentors and people who have been meaningful to me on my professional path and not having a word to say.  All of these techniques did not help to reduce my anxiety, but just delayed it and actually helped it grow.

When it finally came time to present at the conference, I felt the anxiety shivering up and down my body.  I knew deep down that I was not nervous about my competency, as I have had training and lots of experience with Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, but more about being vulnerable and speaking in front of so many peers that I deeply respect.

Having “survived” this experience, I wanted to share a few things I learned from it, as it has opened up my eyes to the courage, vulnerability, and strength that clients embody every day:

  • By being real and opening up to my audience about how nervous I was, I was able to find more space and acceptance for the feelings of anxiety and still go on with my presentation even though they were there the whole time.  In ACT terms, this would be called “acceptance”.
  • Beginning with a mindfulness exercise helped me reconnect with my breath and check in with my body and notice any tension, sensations, emotions it was holding.  This also aided my audience to reconnect with themselves as well.  In ACT, this would be called “contacting the present moment”.
  • All morning before it was my turn to present, I went to several other workshops that I found very engaging and inspiring.  I wasn’t able to be truly present, however, because I had intrusive thoughts such as “your presentation isn’t as expert as theirs is”, or “your nervousness is going to get in the way of effectively relaying your presentation”, and other annoying, damaging thoughts.  I actively tried to notice those thoughts and pin them as JUST THOUGHTS.  They don’t have to mean anything unless I believe them.  In ACT, distancing from unhelpful thoughts is called “defusion”.
  • I realized that I have had this experience before.  I sometimes get caught up in an anxious mindset that is almost paralyzing.  At the time of this newest challenge, I made a big effort to notice that I was going into that all-too-familiar frame of mind I could call “my anxious self” and then observe it.  I didn’t have to believe that this self was all of who I was or that it really has much relevance.  In ACT, this awareness and attention to my ‘anxious self’ is called “Self-As-Context”.
  • Much energy and effort had been expended to get myself to the conference and prepare my presentation, so was I really going to let the anxiety keep me from doing what I originally intended?  Why was I truly there?  I reminded myself that I was there to help offer tools to others about treating eating disorder populations with ACT, and this was important to me because it helps to advocate and spread the word about how this can help those in recovery.  By defining my “values”, I was able to keep them in my mind and move forward even though I was still anxious.
  • Finally, I did it.  I presented my workshop and got through it, and it went quite well.  I felt great!  By taking an action that is guided by my values, I am engaging in “committed action”.

Little did I know, I was utilizing all of the components of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy to help me get through my nerves and present my workshop on the very same topic!

This experience deepened my awareness of and empathy for the struggles that my clients engage with every day.  Those in recovery from eating disorders, body image struggles, anxiety, or self esteem issues can seem paralyzed by the challenge of recovery — much like I was before my presentation.  But I know from personal experience that it is possible to recover from an eating disorder and to face your fears and prove to yourself how strong you are!  

It still will be quite some time before I submit a proposal to present at a national conference again, though :)

 

Jul

22

By Kate Daigle

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Categories: acceptance and commitment therapy, eating disorder foundation, eating disorder recovery, mindful eating, mindful walking, mindfulness

Mindful Walking, Mindful Eating to Nourish Body and Soul: Kate Daigle Counseling Summer NEWS

Walking and Eating Mindfully to Nourish Body and Soul
(and have fun!)

family-walkWhat is mindful walking? Let me ask you this: when you are walking, how often are you distracted by a phone, iPod, or any other chatter that can take up residence in your head? Probably pretty often, huh? Even when we aren’t “plugged in” to something, we can so naturally “tune out” from our natural surroundings and really miss out on the experience of mindful walking (or you can trip on a slope on the sidewalk, as I tend to do when I’m not being mindful). Mindfulness of many different forms (eating, breathing, walking, yoga practice, even mindful DRIVING!) is proven to help us reduce stress, manage anxiety, be more present, and fully enjoy and invest in our daily living experience. Another benefit of mindful walking is that it can help us connect with our environments and with each other.

Here’s a simple mindful walking exercise as taken from Thich Nhat Hahn’s book Peace is Every Step: The Path of Mindfulness in Everyday Life (Bantam, 1992), which provides exercises to incorporate mindfulness into activities you already do every day! (Remember: there is no “wrong” way to practice mindfulness. A major component of mindfulness is non-judgment. If you notice your mind wandering or losing focus, try to just gently invite it to come back to the present moment).

  • First, set your intention to walk mindfully. Take a few deep breaths, and just acknowledge that during your walk you will try to be aware of your environment and your internal state (i.e., thoughts, feelings, sensations). There are no set rules for this walk, and it can be done in any location.
  • As you begin to walk, first notice the sensation of your feet hitting the ground. Notice the process of moving your legs. What muscles tense or relax as you move? Notice where you are stepping, the quality of each step (i.e., are you stepping hard or lightly onto the ground), and the feel of the ground beneath your feet or shoes.
  • Expand your awareness to notice your surroundings. As you walk, what do you see, smell, hear, taste, and feel? How does the air feel on your skin? What do you notice around you?
  • Expand your awareness so that you remain aware of the sensation of walking and the external environment while you also become aware of your internal experiences, such as your thoughts and emotions.
  • As you complete your walk, congratulate yourself for your intention to practice mindful walking, no matter how many times your mind was pulled away from the walk, or how “well” you thought your practice went today. Just notice that the intention to be mindful is the key to practice, and pat yourself on the back.

Tips:

  • If at any point during your walk you notice your mind wandering to the past or the future, or being pulled away from the walk, just gently acknowledge that your mind has wandered and bring yourself back to the present moment and the walk. Remember that being pulled away and coming back is the key to mindfulness practice — no one has perfect focus.

Join Us this Saturday, July 27th from 9am-1pm for a Mindful Walking and Eating Excursion Through Denver’s Beautiful Parks!!

I’m so excited to be partnering with Jonathon Stalls, founder of Walk2Connect for an extravaganza of mindful walking, eating, and connection this Saturday, July 27th at 9am. Walk2Connect is ‘ a Colorado based social enterprise dedicated to taking individuals and groups on single and multi-day walking trips, instilling on-foot personal / communal connection and supporting improved walkability throughout our neighborhoods.’

Kate Daigle Counseling and Walk2Connect will bring their expertise together for a joint outing through Cheesman Park and City Park. Jonathon and Kate will facilitate a journey of connection, renewal, presence, and openness as we explore “Getting Into Your Body” mindfully, experientially, authentically. We will practice walking mindfulness as we explore the parks of Denver, and we will end with mindful lunch. This will be a really FUN, casual, invigorating way to learn more about mindfulness, empower your body, make new friends, and explore our beautiful city of Denver!

For more information, call Kate at 720-340-1443 or sign up at Reflective Walkabout: Get Into Your Body! Spaces are LIMITED, so reserve yours TODAY!!
(PS: this is only one of MANY walks that Jonathon facilitates through Denver and Colorado. Check out his website for more info!)

Curious about more ways to practice mindfulness? Check out Kate’s blog post about finding peace amidst a chattering mind (we can all relate to that!)

Want To Practice Mindful Eating? Join Us!!

Kate Daigle, MA, NCC, LPC is facilitating a FUN monthly group, Denver’s Mindful Eating and Mindfulness in the Park Group! Next group is Friday, August 2nd at 11:30am (held the first Friday of every month, only $5), we’ll meet in beautiful City Park in Denver, Colorado and join together to have some fun with mindful eating! We’ll begin by taking a short walk around the park, getting into our breath and our bodies. We’ll have a picnic and practice some of the mindful eating exercises listed above and MORE! This casual group is inspired by a need for a community of like-minded folks who desire to create a healthy and healing mind-body connection and truly appreciate the act of eating. We’ll incorporate all of our senses in enriching this experience! More info and SIGN UP!: Mindful Eating Group

Attention Denver Area Health Professionals!!

The Rocky Mountain Association for Contextual and Behavioral Sciences (ACBS) is hosting their Inaugural Regional Conference this September 20-21, 2013! ACBS is an organization closely linked with Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (and other 3rd wave behavioral psychotherapies), dedicated to the development of useful basic scientific principles, applied theories and the advancement of therapeutic approaches based on such scientific knowledge. – See more and register for this exciting conference at: http://www.acbscolorado.org/. Keynote speakers include Joanne Steinwachs, LCSW and Michael Twohig, PhD and the conference will have many workshops teaching concepts such as how to utilize ACT principles with couples, and speciality populations.
Kate Daigle, MA, LPC will be presenting a 90 minute workshop entitled: “Embracing Our Bodies, Allowing Our Experience: An Acceptance and Commitment Therapy Approach to Treating Disordered Eating and Body Image Issues”.

 

Sign up for Kate Daigle Counseling’s newsletter here!

Jun

27

By Kate Daigle

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Categories: acceptance, acceptance and commitment therapy, awareness, eating disorder recovery, emotions, flexibility, mindfulness, perceptions, self-love

All or Nothing: The Dangers of Getting Trapped in Rigid Thought Patterns — And How to Break Free!

I was recently asked if I thought there was such thing as “good foods” and “bad foods”.  To me, this is like asking “do you want to get stuck in a rigid cycle of all or nothing thinking?”.  The answer is no!

For myself while I was going through my recovery many years ago, and for others who are actively engaging in freedom1recovery today, ‘all or nothing’ thinking can be a common yet very limiting and confining behavior centered not just around eating, but branching out to many areas of life.  ‘All or nothing’ thinking occurs in eating disordered behaviors but is not limited to this realm.

Many of us have caught ourselves thinking or feeling: “It has to be this way or nothing at all”, or “I am not able to enjoy my day until I do x, y, and z.”  These limiting thought patterns can make us feel like there are only two extremes to choose from, both of them so extreme that they are unhealthy to maintain and actually diminish our life satisfaction.  It’s like we’re keeping ourselves in a jail cell, yet we don’t have the key.  What gives?

For people who are struggling with disordered eating (and this concept can be applied across many realms, struggles, or concerns), they can arrive at a dichotomous crossroads where there is some sort of decision or classification made about themselves and their experience.  These choices might be related to weight, body shape, numbers, or certain food types and amounts.  Once there is a “rule” set about these things, it can become quite rigid and hard to challenge.  Some folks may decide that certain foods with lower fat or carb or sugar content are “good” foods, while everything else is “bad”.  This is based on a fear of gaining weight, but I also see it as a fear of letting go of control.

What is the function of the “all or nothing” thinking?  There can be numerous reasons for this, but one of the most common is that seemingly only having two choices (“good or bad”, or “right or wrong”) helps to create a focus where they can put their energy and attention.  Food might be something that they can control, when something else in their lives feels out of control — whether it be emotions, a family situation, a relationship, etc.  Food can be the “red herring“, the object that is focused on instead of what’s really going on underneath.  The problem is, when a rule such as “I can only have x y and z food (even if I don’t really like it), but not a b and c foods (even if I love those foods)”, the body and the emotional self begins to feel deprived and to crave those foods that “aren’t okay”.  This can commonly lead to eventual out of control behavior around food, such as bingeing or emotionally overeating and “feeling out of control.”

3679716854_f83a5b625bIn recovery, I help my clients find the “grey area”.  This can be very scary at times, as living in the “all or nothing” has felt safe, albeit not healthy at times.  Only in the grey area can we embrace life’s imperfections, its joy, its silliness, its sadness, and to find ways to tolerate all of these without needing rules to govern them.  In the grey area, there are no rules about food, emotions, or the human experience.  So, to answer my original question, : “NO, I do not think there are things such as “good foods” and “bad foods”, as these trigger the dichotomous thinking and lead to a rigid, rule-driven, stuck emotional place.  By offering ourselves and our experiences compassion, we can eat all foods – especially the ones that we really love! — in moderation and enjoyment.

I don’t want to undermine the importance of nutrition.  Getting our nutritional needs met is very important! Some foods have higher and more diverse nutritional content than others, and these foods will make our bodies feel strong, energized, and healthy.

I think that sometimes when ‘all or nothing’ thinking becomes extreme, folks can become convinced that only certain foods with low fat, sugar, salt or carbs means “eating healthily”, when in reality, we need a good dose of those things for our bodies to function fully.  Consulting with a nutritionist is a great way to learn about your body’s specific needs.  When fear consumes certain foods for you, the true meaning of nutrition and health can go out the door, and the “food rules” can become more about control than about truly nurturing your body.  Don’t forget to also nurture your soul — sometimes an ice cream sundae is just what your soul ordered!

By exploring what’s really going on underneath, and having compassion and tolerance for those feelings, we are able to move forward and walk the life of value that we’ve always wanted.

Tell me, what is your experience with “food rules” or “all or nothing thinking” and what are some ways to find more balance and flexibility?

Jun

11

By Kate Daigle

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Categories: acceptance, body love, eating disorder recovery, healing, inner hunger, inner voice, intuition, metaphor in recovery

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The Labyrinth of Recovery: An Ancient and Mysterious Archetype in “Eating in the Light of the Moon”

“In surrendering to the winding path, the soul finds wholeness.”

Charles Gilchrist labyrinth

As I embark upon research and reading for my presentation at Friday’s Conscious Living Book Club event, I have come across the metaphor of the labyrinth.  This metaphor is truly speaking to me at this moment.  In Eating in the Light of the Moon, by Anita Johnston, PhD, the symbol of the labyrinth highlights each of the chapters as Dr. Johnston explores how metaphors, stories, and fables can describe our relationships with food and can help us understand and heal from disordered patterns of eating and experiencing our bodies.

“The labyrinth walk is a request to nature for harmony.”

A labyrinth is a pathway that loops back repeatedly upon itself, reaches the center, and then winds its way back out again.  It’s different from a maze in that there are no barriers, false turns, or dead ends.  You cannot do anything wrong.  There’s only one path to the labyrinth, and you have no choice but to follow it.  The labyrinth is typically in the form of a circle, with a meandering but purposeful path, from the edge to the center and back out again.  On the spiritual journey we meet fellow travelers, obstacles and unexpected turns. The labyrinth walk is a process meditation that seems to suspend time as well as judgment and invites us to embody our experience in a completely new way.

Many see the labyrinth as a symbol of the journey of life, death, and rebirth and our journey through life.  In recovery from disordered eating or from any other type of addictive behavior, says Dr. Johnston, the journey requires you to follow a twisting, turning, winding path to your center.  You must leave behind perceptions of yourself that you have adopted from others and you must reclaim your own inner authority.

On your path, listen to your inner voice and allow it to offer guidance and support as you search for true thoughts, feelings, and desires.  Let go of linear expectation of progress, disengage the rational mind, embrace the power of emotion and intuition.  When you are able to do this, you can find freedom from behaviors and compulsions that have seemed to be holding you hostage, and your inner voice can guide you to nourish the TRUE hunger that you are feeling.

labyrinth_bloom_landmark_images_with_permissionOne of the cool things that I love about the labyrinth is that you can actually, physically, take this walk.  There are hundreds of labyrinths dotting our earth, many ancient and naturally born.  They have been healing tools for us for thousands of years!

As you wander the maze either literally or figuratively, imagine that you are wandering to the true center of yourself, you inner voice, your pure soul.  However, when you get to the center, when you find the essence of who you truly are, this is not the end of your journey — your task then becomes to find your way back out again and exit the labyrinth, and as you do so, integrate this new vision or understanding of yourself with a new way of being in the world.  This is the most pure definition of eating disorder recovery.

A mentor of mine uses the labyrinth concept regularly with the clients she helps, and envisions someday creating a real labyrinth for them to follow as they are working through healing issues in their own lives.  She had the idea that as they wandered through the labyrinth they could share all of the worries, anxieties, doubts, or negative self talk that plague them every day, and offer space to these feelings.  But once they reach the center and turn to find their way back out, they will come up against these feelings again on the path and this time they must offer them compassion, hope, and grace.  This exercise allows our FULL experience to be accepted and all feelings we might have, but as we integrate a new worldview on our way out of the labyrinth (or on our way in recovery) we can show ourselves that we are able to fully experience joy, peace, and love as well as the “negative” feelings.

Tell me:

  • How do you think the labyrinth could be a rich tool for eating disorder recovery?
  • How could it help you heal parts of yourself and discover what you are TRULY hungry for?
  • How does the metaphor of the labyrinth fit in with your own life journey and soul searching?
  • What other metaphors can be used in recovery?

Leave a comment with your own thoughts on this concept and any other ideas for how it can be healing!