Mar

31

By Kate Daigle

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Categories: facebook and depression

Facebook “friends”? The impact of social media trends on depression and self-confidence

When I googled “how many people are on Facebook?”, the question popped up in my search prompter before I could even finish writing it.  That goes to show how central this social media site and others have become in our daily lives.  The answer, in case you were wondering, is 500 million. MILLION.  And 50% of those users log into the site at least once per day.  That is 250 million people connecting talking to each other, looking at photos, reading status updates and “check-ins” every day.  With so much access to our personal lives, it is becoming increasingly more difficult to create boundaries with information (people can track you almost anywhere through social media sites) and decide how much is “too much” to open up about ourselves online.  I have written blog posts before about limiting what we say online (“when to open up and when to shut up”) and about how influential websites can be on our mental health (such as my blog about the influence of YouTube on cutting behaviors). 

Now, there is a new study conducted by the American Academy of Pediatrics and published in the April issue of Pediatrics magazine that states that social media sites like Facebook can increase teenagers’ levels of depression.  Doctors are not sure if this increase in depression is an extension of a depression that might already be experienced or if it is a new form of the mental health condition that is developed when teens obsess over online media sites.  Teenagers who might already be dealing with issues surrounding self-esteem can easily log into the website and be faced with photos, information, and status updates by peers that can “make us feel like we don’t measure up”.  To me, this is a viral extension of the popularity contests that we all enter into in middle and high school, where being popular and “cool” (and especially when it concerns dressing and looking a certain way) is of utmost importance for our happiness level.

What is most concerning to me is that the online world tends to be a place where people can say whatever they want to and (usually) avoid reprecussions that might have been enforced in the real world.  Online bullying, online websites and videos that condone behaviors that are unhealthy and demeaning, and other types of online networking can make it easier to be vicious and disrespectful to others.  This type of harrassment “in the second degree” compounded by the fact that what we see and read online is not necessarily always the reality, can strongly influence our feelings of self-esteem and self-concept.  Do you know what it feels like to be having a challenging day and then to log onto Facebook and see a steady stream of a friend’s status updates that are chipper, happy, and which can seem to make your day even worse?  How about logging into Facebook while working hard to pay your bills and you see photos of a friend’s expensive new car or trip around the world?  These types of factors can make us feel lazy, boring, and like we are not “good enough”.  Don’t even get me started on the realm of tracking old friends and partners and finding photos of them laughing with new partners or a new group of friends.  It makes me wonder about the appeal of online sites sometimes, and I ponder the obsession we 500 million users have and can’t seem to shake (myself admittedly being one of them).  To add to the chaos, many of those persuasive photos and updates might not even be true and may be a way for the poster to try to increase his or her own self-esteem by putting on a false reality to the online world.  Phew — keeping track of all of this is exhausting!  As Dr. Gwenn O’Keeffe, a Boston-area peditrician states, this type of social comparison can be “more painful than sitting alone in a crowded cafeteria at school and that Facebook creates a skewed view of what’s really going on.”

Social media sites do not just influence that self-esteem and levels of depression of only teenagers (though teenagers might have emotional states that are more easily influenced by peer interaction than other age groups).  I believe that we all have experienced some of the feelings that this study is talking about.  Whether you are a child first experiencing the seemingly limitless excitement of the online world or whether you are an adult in your 60s who is reconnecting with old friends and schoolmates that you have not heard from in many years, you might understand the issue of not knowing how to limit the impact of social media sites on our personal mental health.

While doctors do state that many factors of social networking is healthy and productive, it can “sometimes go to far and turn into a popularity and comparison contest”.  Doctors also assure that just because you are on Facebook does not mean that you will get depressed.  As research is still being conducted, we do not know the full extent of the correlation between depression and social media sites and clinicians currently believe that the concern mostly occurs with those who already have some feelings of depression and low self-esteem and whose symptoms increase through repeated use of social networking sites.  Whatever the cause or conditions, this issue is certainly of serious concern and will continue to be so as our world becomes more reliant on online communication and viral influence.

Mar

28

By Kate Daigle

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Categories: exposure therapy

Facing your biggest fear: using Exposure Therapy to overcome anxiety and other disorders

Think about your biggest fear.  Is it swimming with sharks?  Getting germs on your hands?  Speaking in front of a large audience?  What would you think about doing that very thing over and over again?  Pretty terrifying, right?  Exposure therapy, which is a type of behavior therapy in which a client confronts a feared situation, memory, or object, has been proven to be one of the most effective types of therapy for treating Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, and many types of anxiety disorders such as phobia and even eating disorders.  It works by ensuring that the most basic element of healing is present:  the trust of a solid therapeutic relationship.  Once that is in place, the therapist exposes the client to the feared object in an environment that is safe, and comforts the clients as he or she faces his or her biggest fear.  The fascinating aspect of Exposure Therapy is wrought in its very essence:  by not avoiding, you may realize that the feared object is less intimidating as presumed and it systematically loses power and control over you, your thoughts, your behaviors, and your sense of self.

As a therapist who specializes in eating disorders, I often meet clients who struggle with parallel concerns such as anxiety, OCD, phobia, and PTSD.  In an effort to enrich my therapeutic practices, I met with Denver-based behavior therapist Michael Stein, PsyD, who specializes in using Exposure Therapy to treat OCD and other anxiety-based issues.  Dr. Stein fascinated me with evidence of the efficacy of Exposure Therapy: by talking out loud about or by meeting face-to-face with that element which gives you the greatest anxiety, you can over the course of treatment completely resolve those underlying concerns and live a life based on healing and not fear.  I was curious how this is applied to eating disorder treatment and connected his philosophy to my own.  In my work, I sometimes eat meals with clients who have a fear of food or a fear of the meaning of food (that it could cause weight gain, or that it could bring up distress based on self-esteem and self concept).  As we eat together, we talk about what is coming up for the client, what feelings are surfacing and how the client chooses to address them.  This type of Exposure Therapy helps clients do the very thing that their eating disorder is persuading them not to do: to be open, honest, and accepting of the process of nourishing your body and your self.  Not surprisingly, this type of intervention sparks feelings and reactions that the client might not even be able to predict — and, interestingly, many of these reactions might have nothing to do with food at all.  Emotions may surface around the subject of acceptance in social circles at school, or how it can feel “underserving” to feed yourself in a healthy and loving manner.

Recovering from an eating disorder is challenging in numerous capacities, but recovery is primarily difficult because you cannot eliminate the very object that you fear from your life; you must learn to develop a new relationship with eating.  Exposure therapy can help us re-define our relationship with food in a way that is not based out of avoidance.  The more consistently that therapists and loved ones can sit with a client and support her or him as they eat, the safer the client will feel to let out associated emotions and to open themselves up to a healthy life.  She may realize that eating a piece of cake (which she loves but her eating disorder fears) tastes delicious, nourishes her body, and empowers her to define a path based on her own wants — not based on the expectations of others.  I found an interesting study about applying Exposure Therapy to the treatment of Anorexia and intervening with the antibiotic drug D-Cycloserine, and though the study was small, it proved very promising about these types of treatment.

Similarly, in treating Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), exposure therapy is effective at helping the client gain control of the fear and distress that is an overwhelming remnant of the trauma.  In this case, Exposure Therapy must be orchestrated very carefully so as to not re-traumatize the client.  By carefully monitoring the flood of memories and feelings, the therapist can help the client develop a new relationship with those emotions and feel confident that they can prevent fear from asserting power over them in the present moment.

Exposure Therapy can be helpful in overcoming anxiety, trauma, and other related issues and this research certainly piqued my curiosity about the depth and breadth of healing that can be found through the use of this treatment.  You don’t need a therapist to experience some of its benefits.  How have you overcome anxiety or phobia through the use of exposure?

Mar

24

By Kate Daigle

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Categories: binge eating disorder

The swelling rise of stigma attached to Binge Eating Disorder in the United States

Last week I attended a conference sponsored by the Eating Disorder Center of Denver entitled: “The Rising Complexities of Binge Eating Disorder”.  I learned a great deal about this rapidly increasing disorder, including the fact that most people show signs of the disorder in the early twenties, but it is not often diagnosed until the thirties — ten years after it has begun.  It also shows almost equally among men and women and does not present in one ethnic group than another.  And here’s a fact that you might not have known: about 50% of those with Binge Eating Disorder are NOT overweight — and being obese does not mean that you are struggling with Binge Eating Disorder.

Binge Eating Disorder (BED), also referred to as compulsive overeating, is a type of eating disorder that has been gaining more national attention lately. It is the most common eating disorder in the United States, with sources citing that 3.5% of women and 2% of men struggle with some form of BED, and that BED is associated with 30% of people seeking weight loss help. It is controversial and sparks many strong opinions amongst those of us living in Western cultures. Why? Because the increasing prevalence of this disorder is linked to the rise of obesity in the United States (however, as I mentioned earlier, having BED does not necessarily mean that you are obese and vice versa), it’s linked to availability of resources to afford healthy and nutritious food, it’s connected to feeling that we have the power to make good choices about what we eat, and it’s deeply rooted in emotional feelings such as self-esteem. Obesity, which can be a result of struggling with BED, may lead to serious health conditions such as heart disease, diabetes, and congenital heart failure, and even death. Those with weight issues are affected emotionally as well, feeling overly conscious about their body, fearing being judged by peers, and worrying that there is no way to control their eating.

Also termed as a “food addiction”, BED is one of the most rapidly increasing forms of an eating disorder. Challenging childhood obesity is a platform of First Lady Michelle Obama, which I feel is a very important message for us all to get out: it is possible to stop the cycle of obesity and emotional devastation at an early age with proper intervention, education, and resources. But is obesity the same as BED? I argue not, as there are millions of women and men who struggle with BED who are not obese. So how is BED classified? According to mental health professionals, BED is present when a man or woman eats large amounts of food while feeling a loss of control over their eating. It’s important to note that BED is qualified differently from bulimia nervosa, which involves a binge-purge cycle, because there is typically no purging after the binge session (though occasionally there is some form of compensation after a binge). That definitely does not mean that there are not feelings that result, uncomfortable feelings such as guilt, shame, and loneliness, which may lead to depression and isolation.

I believe that BED is a real and serious mental health condition that can have devestating consequences to our emotional and physical health. Binge Eating Disorder is going to be listed as a diagnosable eating disorder in the upcoming revision of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorder, which has initiated a conversation about the validity of this condition. Some argue that it can be a “way out” for not taking care of ourselves the way we need to. As someone who works with people who struggle with eating and weight issues, I can attest that feeling out of control when eating and developing dangerous coping mechanisms such as bingeing, are afflictions that clearly connect to concepts of self-worth, identity, self-acceptance, and believing in the power to change. It is definitely possible to recovery from any type of eating disorder. The more resources and education we can promote about these deadly diseases, the less they will be stigmatized and the more open we will be to discussing how to help one another. It’s about changing the “can’t” to “can”, and offering solutions for healthy exercise, eating plans, and personal reflection that increases self esteem and hope.

Mar

22

By Kate Daigle

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Categories: eating disorder

A Skeleton in the Closet: A raw look at living with an eating disorder

Today I stumbled upon a powerful website/art project called “Skeleton in the Closet”.  Stumbled and fell, stubbing my toe in a way that resonates throughout my body.  You can find the stories, photos, and message of hope that the artist intends to portray here: Skeleton in the Closet.  I want to warn you that these are REAL stories, real people, and real testimonies to how eating disorders destroy lives.  I found the photographs both beautiful and devestating.  One woman writes that “she thought that if she was skinny {her father} would love her more.”  The artist, Fritz Liedtke, confesses in the introduction of his own connection to this topic:  he discovered he was struggling with anorexia and control issues in college, at a time when “people didn’t realize that men get eating disorders too.”  Fritz uses the refrain “I’ve seen thinner”, which depicts an expectation that resonates into our skin and is seen in every factor of our society: entertainment, food advertising, social acceptance at school, the beauty industry, and athletic performance.  Thinner is “better”.  That is what we are told.  And we are told that there is never “too thin”, as the models in the runway depict an “ethereal lightness and beauty” (another quote from a woman suffering from an eating disorder).  These are the messages that cause girls as young as six years old to stop eating after a few bites because they “don’t want to get fat”, and cause women to throw up everything they eat insomuch as the lining of their stomachs is eventually eroded.  Eating disorders are not glamorous.  They are deadly.  This project reinforced that in my soul and brought tears to my eyes.  It also reinforced my mission: that I will never give up hope or perseverence in the effort to eliminate eating disorders.

What reactions did you have to the Skeleton in the Closet gallery and project?

Mar

21

By Kate Daigle

1 Comment

Categories: face blindness, prosopagnosia

Face-blindness: living a vibrant life when you cannot recognize a face

What would it be like to live every day without being able to recognize the faces of those that you feel closest to?  How would this impact your job, relationships, self-esteem, mental health?  Ask Heather Sellers or Thomas Gruter.  Both have a condition called prosopagnosia, also called “face-blindness”, which is a disorder of face perception wherein the ability to recognize faces is impaired while the ability to recognize other objects remains intact.   Sellers has written a best-selling memoir called You Don’t Look Like Anyone I Know, in which she accounts her personal journey while living with this neurological disorder.  She speaks of “growing up, I took cues from context, voice, gait, and hair.  But I never understood exactly what was so confusing — I began to fear I must be going crazy and was anxious all the time.”  Gruter has found that he is impacted by the same disorder and now studies the causes, prevalence, and helpful therapeutic interventions for face-blindness.

Before 2005, Gruter says, face blindness disorder was thought to be only in individualized cases and was assumed to be very rare.  Now, in large part due to Gruter’s research, he estimates that 2.5% of Germany’s population are affected by some sort of face-blindness (so, several million).  And those are just the reported cases.  The inability to recognize faces or distinguish one from another can be embarrassing or socially disabling.  Many people may not know that face-blindness is the cause of their social stress or may be hiding their concerns out of fear of judgment.  Can you imagine the daily level of anxiety that you would hold if you could not be sure if you know the person walking towards you and in which capacity you know them?  Or if you come across a complete stranger and mistake them for a close family member?  I believe this would be exhausting and stressful and could strongly impact one’s self-esteem.

According to the National Institutes of Health, there are two forms of prosopagnosia: acquired and developmental or congenital face-blindness.  Up until now, doctors believed that the acquired form is more common, being caused by brain injuries or a stroke.  Those with this type of the disorder may have endured a stroke or brain injury and then noticed the drastic difference in their ability to recognize faces.  However, when there isn’t a catalyst and someone may have developmental face-blindness, they may have lived their whole lives not knowing that they could recognize faces — their blindness was their reality.  Given this interesting concept, I am curious about the question of how do you judge the level of impact of a developmental disorder?  If it is something you have lived with all of your life and have become accustomed to (such as regular blindness), how do you redefine your “normal”?  Do you want to?  I believe that you must take level of functioning into account.  If you feel that you are functioning at a high level and have a good quality of life, is a developmental disorder like face-blindness a factor that you would like to (or are able to) heal from?  I guess there’s always the tease of a higher level of functioning: being able to recognize faces would be a benefit that could improve social and career opportunities.  But if you have coped with and adjusted to the disorder, would it be more stress and anxiety to try to change it than to leave it as it is?  The more awareness we have, the more complexities we bring into our lives (as well as a greater chance of healing from pain).

As a therapist who is drawn to the relational and personal impact that disorders can have on our lives, I consider the effect that face-blindness could have on a marriage or other intimate relationship.  Frustration can arise in both partners if one partner cannot recognize his or her partner whom he or she may have been with for decades, and I wonder if this might bring up other issues such as trust between the partners and insecurity on each partner’s behalf in terms of feeling validated by the other.  Face-blindness could also impact the types of careers that someone with this disorder can succeed in, as jobs based on customer service with a small group of clients in which the need to please the clients in a personal manner could be challenging.  This condition does not have to be life-altering.  As Sellers says, she “finally learned how important it is to trust her own perceptions.”

Is there a treatment for face-blindness?  Doctors and clinicians say that they are only beginning to work on treating this disorder as more cases are brought to the surface.  We are in the stage of raising awareness about this issue in medical and mental health arenas.

The Prosopagnosia Research Center is in the process of conducting research on face-blindness and beginning to test treatments they could be effective.  Do you think you might have prosopagnosia?  Take the quiz at www.faceblind.org to see how likely you are to have this disorder.  The Center is working on putting the diagnostic test online so that people all over the world can ascertain their likelihood of having this disorder and can soon find treatment options.

Mar

16

By Kate Daigle

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Categories: boundaries, career struggles

Working for life or living to work? Creating boundaries between our personal and professional selves

I was all set today to write a blog about a serious topic that requires much research and thought.  It’s an important subject that I will blog about later, but I realized as I was reading articles about the topic that I couldn’t concentrate and my brain felt fuzzy.  Why?  Because, as for many of us, I was having difficulty separating what I needed to do for work and feelings I was processing in my brain which were not really related to my work.  Or were they?  I was feeling overwhelm, excitement, and anxiety about recent changes and opportunities in my professional life.  This was seeping into personal constructs that I hold about myself:  can I do all of these things that are expected of me?  Do I have the right philosophy to get the job done effectively?  Basically self-confidence stuff, which is not out of the ordinary for me.

The way that my brain was carjacking my (blog)words made me reflect on how many clients have recently been talking with me about stresses in their jobs and the way this bleeds into their personal lives.  Or, the stress of not having a job and how this affects their personal lives in multiple different ways.  It made me think about how we create boundaries between our personal and professional selves, and how we decide what keeps these boundaries in place.  For me and others in my profession, it’s a constant battle to maintain these boundaries because the very nature of our job entails being “who we are” in the room with clients but practicing self-care enough so that we leave our work at work and don’t carry those struggles into the walls of our own homes. Whew!

Whether you are a high-powered attorney, a stay-at-home mother, an out-of-work actor, or a new business owner, you can relate to the difficulty of deciding who you are — and how that identity is tied to your career (I say how and not “if” because I feel it is inevitable that we invest much of ourselves in our career, as being successful in our careers can lead to successes in other arenas of our lives).  How do you leave a stressful work situation at the office and not take it home with you, where it can bring unwarranted conflict with loved ones?  I asked a good friend of mine who is in the medical profession and is quite confident in her professional persona but struggles with feeling comfortable with her personal path.  We talked about how she has successfully learned to not take little things too seriously and to look at the positive side of outcomes rather than focusing on the few negative things (that can just seem so much easier to focus on!).  How? I ask.  Through time and experience, she says, you learn to “not sweat the small stuff” and to allow yourself to take feedback in a constructive manner.  But, I said, I would break down in tears if someone told me I was not as effective of a therapist as I could be, because this profession is my life!  That, she said, might be your problem.  When I asked her how she could go about applying the confident work philosophy into her personal life, she laughed and said “I have no idea.  That’s why we all go to therapy!”

When our careers are our lives, it is difficult to separate the two.  I feel that it can be positive to invest so much in your career because it will directly bleed into your personal life.  This approach can be successful and reap many rewards — if your career is going well.  However, many of us are feeling the tugs of the economic times and can feel quite defeated personally if we are feeling defeated professionally (even if it’s just a phase).  Being unemployed can strongly affect the confidence you feel about your roles in life and how you manage them.  Being in a job that you hate because it pays well in this difficult time or because you do not want to have to job-hunt again can bring up feelings of guilt and depression.  We are all tied to our jobs because they provide us with income and personal fulfillment (or the promise of it) that is invaluable.  The key is trying to find out how we can protect our emotional selves when our profession is subject to factors that are out of our control and how we can console ourselves to not give up.  I like to think about how each day is a new day and how spring comes every year — and with those comes the promise of a fresh start!

Mar

14

By Kate Daigle

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Categories: music therapy

Humming our inner harmony and striking therapeutic chords with music therapy

One of my forms of self-care and relaxation is to read great books.  My favorite author, Jodi Picoult, just came out with an amazing new book called “Sing You Home” which focuses on a music therapist and her journey to find her true identity.  As difficult as it was to tear myself away from this book, I was enthralled by the character Zoe’s profession and realized that music therapy is a channel of therapeutic healing of which I am curious to increase my experience and knowledge.  As I follow Zoe’s path and am honored to be able to peek into the parallel healing path of her client’s journeys, I was inspired today to learn a bit more about music therapy and to see how it impacts my local therapeutic community.

So what exactly is music therapy?  According to the American Music Therapy Association, “music therapy is the clinical and evidence-based use of music interventions to accomplish individualized goals within a therapeutic relationship by a credentialed professional who has completed an approved music therapy program.”  Further, interventions incorporating music therapy can help promote wellness, manage stress, alleviate pain, express feelings, enhance memory, improve communication, and promote physical rehabilitation, among other benefits.  These positive effects are also goals that I infiltrate into my own therapeutic philosophy; so what makes music therapy so different from talk therapy?  Or play therapy?

To answer this question, we do not need to delve into clinical jargon.  As I do with many therapeutic tactics, I encourage us both to think about ways that music has impacted our lives in spiritual, emotional, cognitive, philosophical, and even physical ways (come on, you know that you cannot help but dance along to some of your very favorite music!).  Personally, when I am feeling low or anxious, I know that I can turn on my favorite music artist and I will automatically be transformed into a different emotional sphere.  Or, when I am looking to relax or help myself fall asleep, I can play soundtracks of nature music and my brain is calm and soothed.  The same goes for amping myself up to go out for a run: I put on some upbeat tunes and I am ready to go.

Music therapy is a type of “alternative therapy” that can effectively connect with clients who may be looking for a different form of therapeutic healing.  This can often be found in unique populations, specifically children, the elderly, and those that are in hospitals and healing from various health issues.  Music therapy incorporates clinical research from a variety of facets to create the most effective interventions for clients, correlating data with biomusicology, music theory, psychoacoustics, and comparative musicology to facilitate a therapeutic experience.  As the therapist plays a musical instrument and often helps the client play the instrument as well, the music experience helps to enhance cognitive and motor skills, aids in self-reported increase in quality of life, facilitates a diverse awareness of social skill sets, and deepens a personal and spiritual self.  This holistic approach to therapy, infiltrating person-centered, talk, emotional, and musical aspects to therapeutic healing can  comprehensively relate to each and every one of us in some capacity.

Locally, I uncovered the Metro Music Therapy Center, who note that music therapy is very effective with specific populations such as those affected by Alzheimer’s, forms of autism, cerebral palsy, Parkinson’s disease, down syndrome, and those who have suffered strokes.  The Children’s Hospital has a music therapy program in which children sing, play instruments, laugh, and self-soothe with the aid of music therapists because “music stimulates all of the senses and can increase self-awareness and confidence.”  It can get us out of our heads and into our bodies.  In addition, the Colorado Association for Music Therapy creates a community for dozens of local music therapists to share information, receive support, and connect through shared passion.

It is wonderful to find all of these local resources that I can pass on to clients who might benefit from music therapy.  As therapeutic healing knows no limits and is always eager to explore new avenues, it is of benefit to me and my colleagues to develop relationships with music therapists so that we can provide a diverse and comprehensive range of services to clients with a diverse range of needs.

One of my favorite aspects of my profession, and one of the factors that assures me that I will find energy in my career for many years to come is that there is continually more to learn as we delve into new avenues of research and clinical application every day.  Along with music therapy, there is a world of dance therapy, speech therapy, equine therapy, and other alternative forms of therapeutic touch that change lives of thousands of people daily.  The need for counseling and therapy is only increasing and with so many forms that can help us connect with ourselves and others, I know that we can all find inner peace.

Mar

9

By Kate Daigle

1 Comment

Categories: International Women's Day

Celebrating beauty and achievement in recognition of International Women’s Day 2011

Yesterday, March, 8, 2011 marked the 100th anniversary of International Women’s Day.  I love celebrating any type of achievement or group, and was eager to learn more about the history of this holiday.  International Women’s Day, which was originally termed “International Working Women’s Day”, is marked on March 8th every year since 1911, and has become something of a global celebration of women.  Hillary Clinton posted a video and message yesterday, reflecting on how meaningful it was to receive an enthusiastic response at the 1995 Beijing Olympic games for her speech about human rights being inclusive of women’s rights and vice versa.  As I stopped to think about this message, I eagerly agree about the importance for us all to realize that women’s rights are equal to men’s rights, and that all humans should receive the same civil privileges.  There has been much progress in recognizing this and making changes, however we still have a ways to go.  Hillary cites this point in her message, describing how women continue to be affected by poverty, illness, war, and abuse.

On International Women’s Day, women of all ethnic, social, political, spiritual, and cultural backgrounds stand together to represent the strong and respectable women that they are.  This is one of the most beautiful things about this holiday — a type of gathering that is noticeably absent among men — that we can put our differences aside and unite with our similarities and dreams.  On this day, women look back at all of the struggles they have endured in pursuit of justice, equality, peace, and each and every woman is acknowledged for making history while standing together.  You don’t need to be a First Lady, a spiritual leader, or a political activist to make a difference and to spread the word about women’s rights.  History is abundant with evidence of women struggling to achieve equal footing to their male counterparts.  In Ancient Greece, Lysistrata initiated a sexual strike against men in order to end war, during the French Revolution, Parisian women marched on Versailles to demand suffrage for women — and a similar pursuit followed later in the United States.  As the Industrial Revolution came to the United States at the turn of the century, so did an opportunity for new growth and change in ideology.

So where have we gotten today with honoring the goals of International Women’s Day?  As women still trail men in what they earn and traditional gender roles are still maintained, there is still some thought to be put to this question.  However, to me this holiday is not about arguing and demanding change, as some of these roles are functional and in place for a reason.  This holiday is more about recognizing the amazing strength and success that inhabit women around the world.  Women pursue challenging careers while tending to infant children.  Women earn doctorate degrees while taking care of loved ones.  We are champions at dual careers and we must stop and applaud ourselves for our achievements.  We are sisters in all of these roles and this is something that no one can ever take away from us.

As events take place in more than 100 countries to commemorate International Women’s Day, I am proud to be among role models that I respect, learn from, and lend a hand to as we move forward on our paths of life.

Mar

7

By Kate Daigle

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Categories: awareness, eating disorder

Tags: ,

A celebrity’s influence: the powerful voices of fame as advocates in eating disorder recovery

One of the reasons that we love celebrities and entertainment so much is that they seem almost unreal, like beings who may appear to be like us but are in some way untouchable. They can offer us an escape from our daily grind, as we sit front row for the ups and downs in the lives of movie stars, singers, athletes, reality stars, and politicians. While the hype about a movie star’s love life might distract us from the reality of our own lives and give us a laugh, the truth is that celebrities influence us in ways the are more dynamic and serious than we might be aware of. We have heard many times about the danger of connecting too closely with a celebrity — as comparing ourselves with them, their possessions and their fame can almost always leave us feeling lacking. However, I would like to offer another side — a more constructive side, one that can be helpful if channeled in a healthy manner — to the power of celebrity.

Celebrities suffer from eating disorders, just like millions of the rest of us do. This is one thing that makes them “human”, makes us feel like maybe they can relate to some of the emotions, issues, and struggles that we experience. As eating disorders are built out of a drive for perfection, a desire to succeed, and a dangerous “need” to change ourselves until we fit an ideal, these controlling symptoms can be similar to the cut-throat industry that is Hollywood and fame. As I was doing research for this article, I knew that I could find a few examples of celebrities who have recovered from eating disorders and who are now using their celebrity to speak out in advocacy for eating disorder recovery. I was shocked to find a list of more than one hundred names, the majority of which have recovered, but several of which have passed away from these serious disorders. And I am sure this is a partial list.

I was inspired to write about this today because I came across a video this morning posted by actress Demi Lovato, who has been in inpatient treatment for “emotional issues” for several months. While no one has directly stated that she was dealing with an eating disorder, it appears that this was at least part of what she was struggling with, and in her video she speaks honestly about the challenges she has been faced with. She also appeared calm, strong, and inspired by her journey and I hope that at some point when she has long been recovered that she will use her voice to help others with similar issues (she already hinted at this in her message!). I wanted to write today about the positive influence that celebrities can have on society, as they are often discredited with being negative and damaging impacts on normal people. As celebrities continue to lend their voices to a variety of causes and make donations to worthy foundations,I am hopeful that we can move forward in a healthy way, sending messages of self-acceptance and self-love instead of one that we can never be “enough”.

 

Mar

4

By Kate Daigle

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Categories: social anxiety, social phobia

A daily struggle: discovering our comfort level with social anxiety

Writing about social anxiety is both fascinating and….anxiety provoking.   This condition can seem so relatable and yet challenging to define.  I like to write blogs in a way that my message can seem universal — that we all can understand a part of the issue and thus feel more connected.  Social anxiety is one of these topics that, at least to me, appears something that we can all say “oh yes, I know how it feels” in one capacity or another.  For some of us, it’s minimal and it is easily overcome.  For others, social anxiety is a crippling and devestating type of anxiety disorder that can strongly affect our quality of life.  Those that identify with the second definition may agree that social anxiety is not often given the credence that it deserves, and that is why I write about it today.

So what is social anxiety?  Is it possible to truly overcome it?  Social anxiety is defined as a type of anxiety — or worry, discomfort, fear, apprehension — about social situations, interactions with others, and being evaluated or scrutinzed by others.  For some of us, this might be felt when meeting new people such as going into college, going on a first date, or entering a new career where there are people that you want to impress and perhaps form deep bonds with.  There are different types of social anxiety and thus differing degrees of intrusion on people’s lives.  Developmental social anxiety is “normal”, occuring in early childhood as we learn about social interaction, develop our identities, and define our life scripts.  This type of social anxiety is typically constructive and we grow out of it.  Chronic social anxiety may persist throughout adolesence or may develop while one is in adulthood.  This form of social anxiety can bring on feelings of self-consciousness, judgment, evaluation, and critisicm of the self — and a fear that others are doing these same things to us.  This constant fear is quite unsettling and can make the decision to go into situations in which we need to socialize excruciating.

Social anxiety (also called social phobia) is complex, as it involves an internal component and an external component — fear of how we are perceived by others can be deepened by reactions of others (or how we perceive those actions/reactions) and that ties into a judgment of ourselves in that situation, which is a factor that is solely our own experience.  Termed “the least understood anxiety disorder” and one of the most common as it is thought 7% of the population suffers from some form of it, social anxiety can range from a phobia of a certain situation (such as a work party where your performance is evaluated), to an overall generalized fear of being judged by others.  Many people who struggle with more extensive forms of social phobia reach out on the internet — a form of connecting where you can have more control over how you are perceived as you can choose the extent and type of interaction you will engage in, with someone who is not physically present.  Role play and fantasy games and forums in which you have the freedom to just “be” are common arenas where those with a social phobia can feel most comfortable.  I found an online message board: http://www.socialphobiaworld.com/, where those who have experience with this issue can talk about treatment, ways that anxiety has affected their lives, factors that influence anxiety, and where they can offer each other support.

Speaking of treatment, how is social anxiety addressed in therapy and can it be absolved?  The answer depends on the extent that the anxiety is affecting your daily life, say clinicians who specialize in this issue.  Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) has been proven to be effective in decreasing feelings of panic and interrupting thought patterns that lead to intense social phobia reactions.  Group therapy is also a great method for developing new interaction skills and increasing comfort level with social situations.  Clinicians state that groups should be focused only on social phobia, and not intermingled with other types of anxiety so as to protect the fragile atmosphere of healing.  With a dedication to working through issues related to social anxiety (self esteem, self confidence, the way in which we have learned to socialize), it is possible to lessen panic and fear of judgment by others and to feel more comfortable going out with groups of people. 

Have you had a personal experience with social phobia?  The best way to start looking at resolving this concern is to find a therapist who is empathetic, accepting, and not judgmental of you — someone who does not minimize the issue but instead offer you a safe environment in which to explore underlying factors.  Gradually push yourself to take a risk:  take a close friend or family member — someone you trust and feel comfortable with unconditionally — and visit a bookstore or coffee shop.  Just observe how people interact with one another.  Observe yourself in that situation and visualize yourself engaging in a conversation with a “safe” person — perhaps the barista or bookseller.  Gradual steps pave the way to great success!

Mar

2

By Kate Daigle

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Categories: self-compassion

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Projecting care inward: why are we more compassionate with others than with ourselves?

I admit: I am guilty.  On the scale of 1-5, testing how much self-compassion we have (1 being lacking in self-compassion and 5 being high in self-compassion, with 3 being the average), I scored a 2.13.  Maybe I am even a hypocrite.  Why is it that so many of us in the helping profession have no difficulty offering unlimited amounts of empathy and compassion to those that we work with, but when it comes to treating ourselves with that same kindness, it’s nearly impossible?  I think that many of my friends and colleagues that help others — counselors, social workers, nurses, caregivers — could empathize with this statement.  I also am certain that many other folks, even those who have no training in garnering empathy and compassion skills, could agree that showing self-compassion is difficult.  As one friend put it:  ”we are our harshest critic”.  Those of us who have a career in helping people are ethically expected to engage in self-care, which in turn means treating ourselves with kindness and respect so that we can be psychologically fit to work with our clients.  That can be hard to do if we criticize ourselves more than accept ourselves.

What is self-compassion?   According to a well-known blog on the New York Times’ website, self-compassion refers to “how kindly people view themselves”.  The article also talks about “new research” showing that giving ourselves a break and accepting our imperfections may be the first step towards better health.  This philosophy doesn’t seem too new to me, but the fact that we neglect to do this rings all too clear.  People who score high on the test of self-compassion tend to have lower levels of anxiety and depression and a higher quality of life.  Seems simple, doesn’t it?  The more you offer yourself kindness and acceptance, the less depression you will feel.  Take the test of self-compassion and see how you score.  Is it what you expected?   Higher? Lower?  This test is set up as “26 statements meant to determine how often people view kindly of themselves and whether they recognize that ups and downs are a part of life”.  The latter part of that statement is KEY to coping with life:  we all have ups and downs, we can get through them, and you are not alone.

Kristin Neff, who is featured in the article and known as a pioneer in the field of self-compassion warns that “the biggest reason people are not more self-compassionate is because they worry about becoming self-indulgent.”  This is interesting: there is perceived to be quite a fine line between offering ourselves kindness and being seen as someone who indulges themselves so much that they care more about their own needs than others.  These two poles seem pretty different to me but for those of us who are sensitive and perceptive, it can be a battle to determine what defines self-compassion and what defines self-indulgence.  Some self-indulgence is okay, even healthy, but when is it too much?  I think that our culture influences us to indulge ourselves to excess and this in turn can ignite our fears of falling too deeply into this trap.

A further point by Neff:  ”I think that self-criticism keeps people in line”.  So, therein lies the complexity of this question.  Self-criticism is believed to help keep us from going overboard into the land of excessive self-indulgence.  However, self-criticism is the antithesis to self-compassion, and so an effort to limit indulgence can in fact cause us to become very critical of and hard on ourselves.  With all of this teeter-tottering between compassion, indulgence, and criticism, no wonder our society is riddled with anxiety about achieving perfectionism!

Cultivating self-compassion instead of choosing self-criticism is difficult, however it can lead to longterm happiness and can help alleviate emotional issues.  Neff cites an example of women who struggle with emotional eating.  If a group of women really want to have some doughnuts, but criticize themselves for perhaps having eaten some a few days ago or for even wanting to eat the doughnuts, then the stress of this self-criticism will project them into a uncontrolled episode of emotional eating.  However, if these women treat themselves with self-compassion and give themselves permission to have some doughnuts because they taste delicious and they really want some, then they will not over-eat.  Compassion breeds happiness and peace, while criticism breeds depression and self-hatred.

Where are you on the scale of self-compassion?  If you are high, then that is wonderful!  If you are lower than you would like to be, I encourage you to write yourself a “letter of support”, as you would for a friend trying to get a new job.  Cite all of the wonderful things about you and why you deserve to be treated (by yourself) as a kind, intelligent, beautiful human being.  Then read this letter out loud to yourself — you will be amazed at how empowering it feels!